IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People think that government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

#people #government #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
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It is widely believed that one solution to environmental problems would be for governments to raise the price of petrol.
While
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 I consider that
this
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 might be an effective measure, I would argue that other measures might have an even greater impact. If national authorities raised taxes on petrol,
this
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 would address two environmental issues.
Firstly
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, in terms of private cars, motorists would limit the number and length of their journeys to compensate for the extra expense. Governments would
then
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 be forced to upgrade and expand public
transport
Use synonyms
 provision, as people would still need to travel to work, to school or to travel to shops and hospitals,
for example
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.
Secondly
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, from the perspective of freight services, more goods would have to be transported by rail rather than by truck. Both these measures would cut down on emissions from vehicles and help to reduce the greenhouse effect.
On the other hand
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,
while
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this
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 rise in fuel prices might be a useful stopgap measure, governments could adopt
transport
Use synonyms
 policies which would be more effective in the long term. The local authorities in London,
for instance
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, introduced a congestion charge on all vehicles visiting the city centre. They use the money raised to subsidize the cost of fares and to invest in
transport
Use synonyms
 infrastructure. In turn,
this
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 has improved the air quality in the city,
as a result
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 of the reduction in exhaust fumes. Another policy would be to introduce free bus and train passes, as the increased use of public
transport
Use synonyms
 would reduce pollution from private cars and help in the effort to combat global warming. In conclusion, a sharp rise in petrol prices would be a useful environmentally-friendly
transport
Use synonyms
 measure,
although
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 in the longer
term
Add a comma
term,
show examples
 other steps would be more effective.
Submitted by hominhyenmeo on

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coherence cohesion
To elevate your coherence and cohesion score, consider using more varied and sophisticated linking devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Although your arguments are well-structured, adding more nuanced perspectives or alternative viewpoints could make your essay even more compelling.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear overview and a thoughtful summary of your points.
relevant specific examples
The specific examples, such as the congestion charge in London, enhance your arguments and demonstrate your ability to provide relevant, real-world examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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