In some counties young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Education is a high investment people can do it for themselves.
decides
between travel or Wrong verb form
Deciding
study
the university straight forward is a big decision and there are a lot of optimistic and pessimistic in Wrong verb form
studying
this
resolution. From my point of view, The biggest advantage of traveling
a year before Change the spelling
travelling
the
university is to get life experience and enhance responsibility and communication skills, Correct article usage
apply
while
the most fear about this
decision is not wanting to complete studying for many reasons.
On the one hand, having time to rest before a new stress and explore new cities can improve character and confidence. started from elementary school to high school with care and love from parents with no care about the consequences because the vast majority of students know that they have a wall to protect them but if they try to take the
responsibility and Correct article usage
apply
traveled
alone they will be more careful about themselves. Wrong verb form
travel
For example
, my sister always depend
on my father to finish her duty but after she graduated my father told her to Wrong verb form
depended
traveled
to another city so she Wrong verb form
travel
can
have Wrong verb form
could
a
work there, Remove the article
apply
this
decision enhanced her personality she actually bacame
another person with high Correct your spelling
became
self confidence
.
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
On the other hand
, perhaps young students follow their dreams and live by doing their hobbies and underestimate the importance of a bachelor's. I know a friend who traveled
and after a year his enthusiasm slowed and he Change the spelling
travelled
canceled
the idea of continuing his education.
In conclusion, young people should do what they want to do but Change the spelling
cancelled
with
thinking about the costs of the resolution. my perspective is young people should strike a balance they can Change preposition
without
traveled
Change the verb form
travel
in
Change preposition
on
the
holiday and Correct article usage
apply
started
Wrong verb form
start
in
the exact time for university.Change preposition
at
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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points related to the advantages and disadvantages of taking a year off between high school and university. However, the ideas would benefit from further development and more detailed examples.
task achievement
Try to strengthen the support for your main points by providing concrete examples and elaborating more on how these examples relate to your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay could be improved with better logical structure. For instance, the introduction could be clearer in stating the purpose of the discussion, and each paragraph could be slightly more clearly linked to each other.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and that each sentence logically follows the previous one. Use more cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, which shows a balanced approach.
task achievement
The personal examples provided help to illustrate the points being made, making the essay more relatable and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your response and makes it easier to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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