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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#households #income #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the number of
Use synonyms
families
Change noun form
families'
family's
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 in the US in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2007, 2011, and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the annual
income
Use synonyms
 for each household throughout the years
were
Change the verb form
was
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 steady with no dramatic changes. In 2007, 25
million
Use synonyms
families
Use synonyms
 had less than 25
thousand
Use synonyms
 dollars
Use synonyms
income
Change preposition
in income
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, and just over approximately 25
million
Use synonyms
 households had from 25-50
thousand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
income
Change preposition
in income
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, around 20
million
Use synonyms
 households have had 50-75 US dollars.
However
Linking Words
, the highest annual
income
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 100
thousand
Use synonyms
 or more was the majority with just under 30
million
Use synonyms
families
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2011, the majority
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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household incomes were 25-50
thousand
Use synonyms
 dollars
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
follows
Wrong verb form
followed
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the
families
Use synonyms
 with less than 25
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the 100
thousand
Use synonyms
 or more
income
Use synonyms
 decreased a little, and the 50-75
thousand
Use synonyms
 was constant.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in 2015, the 100 or
morse
Correct your spelling
more
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thousand
Use synonyms
 increased by far the most with approximately 33
million
Use synonyms
families
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
families
Use synonyms
 from less than 25 to 75
thousand
Use synonyms
 were the same as
2011
Change preposition
in 2011
show examples
. All in all, the economic state
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
US households in 2015 has increased since 2007.
Submitted by jowanaalamoudi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words families, income, million, thousand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
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