These days’ children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?
Nowaday
there are many Correct your spelling
Nowadays
thechnological
inventions, that Correct your spelling
technological
are encompass
us and our Change the verb form
encompass
children
. Moreover
toddlers Add a comma
Moreover,
are use
them better than their parents. In Change the verb form
use
this
essay I'll try to understand if the advantages of such
status are
Unnecessary verb
apply
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
it's
disadvantages.
First and Correct your spelling
its
formost
- the advantages. The paramount of it is the accessibility of all Correct your spelling
foremost
kind
of information. Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
Children
have a
possibility to study interesting things with minimal Correct article usage
the
efforts
. They can find Fix the agreement mistake
effort
an
Correct article usage
apply
unswers
to their questions Correct your spelling
answer
answers
in
platforms like Google, they can read Change preposition
on
a books
on Correct the article-noun agreement
books
a book
a
sites or Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
an
e-books like Kindle. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
Forthermore
, they can have assistance with their school homework and exams from the GPT-Chat. Correct your spelling
Furthermore
As well as
that, there are so many games which are aimd
to Correct your spelling
aimed
said
develope
of Correct your spelling
develop
the
variety of skills for all ages.
Correct article usage
a
Secondly
, today the world become smaller, people
Correct word choice
and people
didn't
have to Wrong verb form
don't
stay
all their lives in the motherland. They are travelling, Verb problem
spend
setteling
in Correct your spelling
settling
the
different countries. So Correct article usage
apply
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
children
, which
have been moved to Fix the agreement mistake
who
other country
, have an opportunity to connect to their relatives Change the wording
another country
other countries
due to
the
apps like Zoom, WhatsApp etc. Today the situation from the movie "At Correct article usage
apply
home alone
" wouldn't have taken place. The main character of the film would have called Correct your spelling
Home Alone
to
his mom Change preposition
apply
due to
the internet, and his family would have been back home.
On the other
hand
we have several disadvantages of Add a comma
hand,
such
technology development. The first of them, in my opinion, is the lack of face-to-face communication. Children
have forgotten about vigorous games outside, they are playing with their friends due to
the internet without getting up from their sofa. The second disadvantage, that has the
strong connection with the first one is the lack of Correct article usage
a
phisical
training and non-healthy Correct your spelling
physical
died
. Replace the word
deaths
The obesity
Correct article usage
Obesity
of
Change preposition
in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
children
became
the Wrong verb form
has become
epidemy
of the Correct your spelling
epidemic
21
century. Correct your spelling
21st
Moreover
, there is now a new psyhiatric
diagnosis of game addiction.
In Correct your spelling
psychiatric
the
conclusion, I can say that because of the variety of advantages and Correct article usage
apply
tough
Correct word choice
apply
disadvantages
we have to be flexible, and Add a comma
disadvantages,
to
find the golden balance between technology, Fix the infinitive
apply
live
communication and Correct word choice
apply
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
life-style
.Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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grammar
Work on improving spelling and grammar to enhance readability. For instance, 'thechnological' should be 'technological', and 'answers' is misspelled as 'unswers'.
depth of argument
Clarify and expand on how the advantages and disadvantages you mention specifically impact children's development. This will add depth to your argument.
cohesion
Enhance transitions between paragraphs to ensure smoother flow of ideas. Phrases like 'Furthermore' and 'Secondly' can be better utilized to link ideas logically.
structure
Introduction and conclusion are clear and frame the essay well. The objective of weighing the advantages and disadvantages is clearly presented.
examples
Good use of specific examples, like mentioning Google and Kindle for educational resources and Zoom and WhatsApp for maintaining family connections.
engagement
You've brought in relevant comparisons and hypothetical scenarios, such as referencing 'Home Alone'. This makes the essay more engaging.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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