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The graph below shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012.

The graph below shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012.
#percentage #staff #members #faculties #university
the bar chart below compares how the percentage of male and female academic staff
members
 was across the faculties of a major university in 2012.
it is clear that
 males
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 greater than female
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 in business,engineering,law and science in the faculties in 2012.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine,there was no gender
difference
.
however
,there was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 gender
difference
 in engineering. The number of male staff who majored in engineering was the highest and for females,was education. within
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
engineering,the number of men reached 85 persons which was the highest among the 7 categories.
on the other hand
,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in engineering
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the lowest
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 only
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
15 people.
in addition
, the number of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in the business as same as the science ,was 65 and 35. In the
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 who studied law ,the
difference
 between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 was 20 ,which had 60 males.
otherwise
, the male and female in medicine both had 50 people which was no gender
difference
. The female academic staff
members
 who majored in education were the most which got 75
members
.
moreover
,the male
members
 only had 25.in art,
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 nowhere near as many as
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
,the
difference
 was 10.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words members, difference with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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