Both governments and individuals are spending vast amount of money on protecting animals and their habitat. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. To what extent do you agree?

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Animals

Use synonyms

are important creatures on earth. Whether or not

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

amount of money should be spent by governing bodies and individuals on

animals

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and their places of shelter has become a subject of interest. It is being suggested that

such

Linking Words

funds could be channelled to

solving

Wrong verb form

solve

show examples

societal problems

such

Linking Words

as poverty and healthcare issues. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

. On the

one

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hand, human lives matter as we are interdependent on

one

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another.

This

Linking Words

is so because man cannot live

Change preposition

show examples

an island. In view of

this

Linking Words

, it is important to support and help others as human existence is key to our living.

Therefore

Linking Words

, capable persons and leaders of a nation should focus on projects that will make people comfortable.

Hence

Linking Words

spending on the poor and improving healthcare should be paramount in every society. The returns from

such

Linking Words

spending

Change the verb form

are

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healthy citizens who will work to generate

monies

Correct your spelling

money

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for the nation.

Also

Linking Words

, rich individuals may require the services of poor people in society in

one

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way or the other

such

Linking Words

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

performing menial jobs. From these, it cannot be overemphasized why spending on

human related

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human-related

show examples

issues should be more important than others.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, human existence is not complete without

animals

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. They offer several beneficial purposes in the life of mankind

such

Linking Words

as sources of protein, clothing and friends. Protein is

one

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of the essential components of

balanced

Correct article usage

a balanced

show examples

diet and without

animals

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, only

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

plants can substitute

this

Linking Words

role.

Also

Linking Words

, the varied clothes we

were

Correct your spelling

wear

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mostly are obtained from the skin of some

animals

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. Domestic

animals

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are kept as

pets

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for people. To elaborate

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

on this

show examples

, the New York

times

Capitalize word

Times

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reported close to 40% of persons without

pets

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died of depression during the covid 19 period

whereas

Linking Words

some owners of

pets

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claimed they found solace and joy in their

pets

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in those times.

This

Linking Words

goes to say

animals

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play a role which cannot be replaced by humans.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I can understand why spending on

animals

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

important.

However

Linking Words

, I stand by the fact that man should focus on solving

human related

Add a hyphen

human-related

show examples

issues than

animals

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, using money on significant life problems like poverty and healthcare should always be chosen over spending on

animals

Use synonyms

nmaureen03Thu Jun 27 2024

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Task Achievement

Your response effectively addresses the task and provides a complete response to the topic. However, providing a few more specific examples would strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning specific healthcare initiatives or programs that could benefit from increased funding would add depth to your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical flow of your essay is good, but there are areas where transitions between ideas can be smoother. Consider using more linking phrases to make the progression of your argument more seamless. For example, transition phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'Moreover' can enhance the cohesion of your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps in maintaining a strong logical flow throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

You provided a clear stance on the topic and maintained your viewpoint consistently throughout the essay. This makes your argument persuasive and easy to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion

The main points in your essay are well-supported and coherent. Each paragraph maintains a single main idea, which helps in effectively communicating your argument.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

367 words

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Both governments and individuals are spending vast amount of money on protecting animals and their habitat. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. To what extent do you agree?

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching T.V . However, TV cannot replace the book as a learning tool,which is why children are less well educated today,to what extent do you agree with this statement ?

3. The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individual and to the socity they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is better to have more short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both of views and give your opinion.

Topic: Some people believe that it is good for a country to host a major sports competition. Others think it causes many problems for the country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government should provide housing, while others believe that it is not the government’s responsibility.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.