More people are now behaving more violently in society than before. Can this behaviour be prevented? Discuss the causes and reasons for this trend. Provide examples to support your opinion.

#people #society #behaviour #trend #support

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These days, a

notably

Change the adverb

notable

show examples

change can be seen vividly in

people

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. They are becoming more aggressive towards

Society

than ever.

This

essay will discuss the factors

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

should be blamed for

this

arising issue

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and will suggest

appropriate

Correct article usage

an appropriate

show examples

phase to eliminate

this

behavior

. When it comes to the causes of bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

society

, the first and foremost reason is

media

influence which

showing

Wrong verb form

shows

show examples

heavy violence and cruel content all the time for getting viewership.

As a result

, many individuals especially youngsters imitate

action

Fix the agreement mistake

actions

show examples

and

behavior

from movies and apply the same in real life.

Apart from

this

, a large section of

society

fails to maintain

work-life

Correct article usage

a work-life

show examples

balance, resulting

many

Change preposition

in many

show examples

people

have become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

short tempered

Add a hyphen

short-tempered

show examples

. Constant involvement in the work and giving less time to social activities drop their patience tolerance gradually.

Therefore

, folks are behaving violently in

society

For example

according to

the New York

time

Fix the agreement mistake

Times

show examples

report, 75% portion of

people

is involves

Change the verb form

is involved

show examples

in different

sort

Fix the agreement mistake

sorts

show examples

of conflicts with their colleagues and

society

due to

unsatisfactory job conditions. When it comes to the prevention of the given problem, I believe, the first possible course of action that the government may take is to

categorized

Wrong verb form

categorise

show examples

the genre of

media

also

authorities out to eliminate aggressive and violent content that may foster wrongful

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

because

media

broadcast should be in control in order to curb

this

dilemma.

Furthermore

, the companies should conduct training sessions through

people

Correct pronoun usage

which people

show examples

can learn techniques to maintain

balance

Add an article

a balance

the balance

show examples

between professional and personal life.

Moreover

, they may offer short breaks and

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

job benefits

such

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

increment

Fix the agreement mistake

increments

show examples

and bonuses, which might provide employees

job

Change preposition

with job

show examples

satisfaction.

For example

, a local businessman in my town

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

their workers to participate in self-awareness lectures and

balancing

Wrong verb form

balance

show examples

professional and personal life as he said these are

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

best ways to deter

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violent activity in the locality. In conclusion, there is no denying the fact that misbehaving activities are increasing day by day among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

societies. As mentioned, aggressive

media

content and unsatisfactory work are the main

cause

Fix the agreement mistake

causes

show examples

this

issue.

However

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

proper steps

needs

Correct subject-verb agreement

need

show examples

to be considered to eliminate

such

behavior

from

society

Submitted by rajwants.1997 on Thu Jun 27 2024

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task achievement

While the essay addresses the task and covers key aspects, some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing impact readability. Improving sentence structure can enhance clarity. For instance, instead of 'the factors what should be blamed,' use 'the factors that should be blamed.'

coherence cohesion

To further improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smooth transitions between points. Phrases like 'apart from this' and 'furthermore' are good, but the flow can be smoother with more variety in linking phrases.

task achievement

In the prevention section, providing concrete examples or further elaboration on suggestions would strengthen the argument. For example, explaining how media regulation can be effectively implemented will make your suggestions more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which adequately frame the discussion on violent behavior in society.

task achievement

The main points are supported by relevant examples, which illustrate the causes and prevention measures effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

358 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

violent behavior
society
prevention
causes
trend
exposure to violence
media
positive role models
psychological issues
socioeconomic factors
proper education
values
peer pressure
neglectful parenting
substance abuse
social support
community cohesion

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More people are now behaving more violently in society than before. Can this behaviour be prevented? Discuss the causes and reasons for this trend. Provide examples to support your opinion.

Your opinion

Some students do not have the natural ability for other languages. Some people think that schools should not force students to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? 1)Tiredness 2)Dark circles

In some cultures,children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough

Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that what children is their behaviour. other leave the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. Discuss both views and give your opinion.