IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts present the spending habits of people in UK in 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie charts present the spending habits of people in UK in 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
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The pie charts illustrate the UK population's
money wasting
Add a hyphen
money-wasting
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 pattern in two years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 food and car pieces which had the majority
of
Change preposition
apply
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percentage stayed in first and second places.
However
Linking Words
, all types of
expending
Correct your spelling
expanding
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 proportions in each section changed.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , there were three sections which increased during 30 years. Restaurant
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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 which was 7
percent
Use synonyms
 in 1971, doubled in 2001. Meanwhile, computers outline customs upsurge from 2%
till
Change preposition
to
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 12%. In 1971 cars which were in second place with 22
percent
Use synonyms
 , became first with 43
percent
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, four sections were decreased . Furniture and petrol
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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 didn’t lose a big percentage .
While
Linking Words
 furniture lost 1
percent
Use synonyms
 from 9 till 8. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 petrol lost 2
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. Meanwhile, people have reduced book purchases by 1
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, which was 6% in 1971. Food disbursing habits suffered
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 loss from 44% to 14% ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 stayed in
top
Correct article usage
the top
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 three.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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