IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts present the spending habits of people in UK in 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie charts present the spending habits of people in UK in 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
#habits #people #uk #report #university #lecturer #data
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts illustrate the UK population's
money wasting
Add a hyphen
money-wasting
show examples
 pattern in two years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 food and car pieces which had the majority
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentage stayed in first and second places.
However
Linking Words
, all types of
expending
Correct your spelling
expanding
show examples
 proportions in each section changed.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , there were three sections which increased during 30 years. Restaurant
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 which was 7
percent
Use synonyms
 in 1971, doubled in 2001. Meanwhile, computers outline customs upsurge from 2%
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 12%. In 1971 cars which were in second place with 22
percent
Use synonyms
 , became first with 43
percent
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, four sections were decreased . Furniture and petrol
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 didn’t lose a big percentage .
While
Linking Words
 furniture lost 1
percent
Use synonyms
 from 9 till 8. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 petrol lost 2
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Meanwhile, people have reduced book purchases by 1
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, which was 6% in 1971. Food disbursing habits suffered
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 loss from 44% to 14% ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 stayed in
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 three.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: