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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese in one country from 1965 to 2015. the pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overwieght, obese or severely obese in 2015.

The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese in one country from 1965 to 2015. the pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overwieght, obese or severely obese in 2015.
#bar #percentage #adults #country #proportion #overwieght
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The given bar
chart
 illustrates the proportion of the adult population who were obese or overweight in one nation over the period of 50 years starting from 1965,
while
 the pie
chart
 shows the weight range of the
adults
 in 2015.
Overall
, it can be seen that
adults
 who had obesity experienced an upward trend over the time frame. Based on the pie
chart
, the figures for
people
 who were unhealthy made up a significant percentage. Take a look at the bar
chart
 which witnessed a rising trend of overweight or obese
people
. From 1965 to 1985, it shared a similar number, with about 46% of the population being overweight or obese. For the next ten-year period, there was a dramatic growth in the percentage of
people
 who had obesity, which increased by approximately 14%. In 2005, that percentage increased to well under 70% and about 74% of
people
 were overweight or obese in 2015. The pie
chart
,
it presents
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 that there were over 70% of
adults
 were obese, overweight, and severely obese.
About
Change preposition
Of
show examples
 the
adults
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
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 in good health, just only 24% of
adults
.
In contrast
, obese and overweight
people
 made up 34% and 31%, respectively.
Last
 but not least, severely obese
adults
 consisted of 6%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, adults, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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