Students who are given grades work harder than those who do not. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
There is no denying the fact that working hard
it
is the key Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
everything . Change preposition
to
While
it is a commonly held belief that Linking Words
students
who do not Use synonyms
work
hard on their Use synonyms
grades
are less than other Use synonyms
students
who Use synonyms
is
working hard in Change the verb form
are
grades
. In my opinion, Use synonyms
i
consider that hard Change the capitalization
I
work
can provide Use synonyms
a great
Correct the article-noun agreement
great grades
a great grade
grades
in the school career.
Use synonyms
To begin
with ,hard Linking Words
work
can Use synonyms
led
to confidence. Change the form of the verb
lead
In other words
, when how the scores Linking Words
going
up that can Wrong verb form
go
given
you the confidence that you are capable Wrong verb form
give
to do
the hard tasks. Change preposition
of doing
In addition
, the more you practice hard Linking Words
work
, the easier everything becomes. Use synonyms
For example
, math is difficult ,at first you will face some problems you can not solve, so you Linking Words
but
all your hard Correct your spelling
put
working
Replace the word
work
on
it and Change preposition
into
month
later you become much better Correct article usage
a month
in
math Change preposition
at
that is
Linking Words
real
example of working hard.
Another point to consider, going to good companies it is Add an article
a real
also
possible to say that when the company knows that you will Linking Words
work
hard for the sake of the company because of Use synonyms
this
feature, you will be concerned. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
gain
respect among the Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
students
. Use synonyms
For instance
. When other Linking Words
students
see how you Use synonyms
workin
so hard to get Correct your spelling
work
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
good grades
a good grade
grades
, there will be a chance to get their respect and to be their role- model .
In conclusion, Use synonyms
depicted
people having different views, Correct your spelling
despite
i
believe that hard Change the capitalization
I
work
can get you a lot of upsides respect, power,and Use synonyms
great
job which can reward you for your hard Add an article
a great
work
.Use synonyms
Submitted by alaa5942005 on
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General
Work on improving your sentence structure and grammar. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as "working hard it is the key" instead of "working hard is the key."
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph sticks to a single main point and elaborates on it clearly. For instance, the paragraph about confidence should not mix ideas about job opportunities.
Task Achievement
Use more relevant examples to illustrate your points. For example, you could mention specific studies or situations where students who receive grades outperform those who do not.
Coherence & Cohesion
Conclude with a summary of the key points instead of listing isolated benefits. It will make your argument more compelling.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay has a good structure with an introduction and a conclusion, which is important for coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
You made good efforts to explain how hard work leads to confidence and respect among peers, which supports your main argument.