IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Living in a country where you have to spake a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Communication
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 plays a key role in human lives.
Language
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 is an important means through which verbal
communication
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 is carried out. Speaking a foreign
language
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 in a particular nation can bring about social and practical issues. I agree with
this
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.
To begin
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 with,
language
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 forms an essential part of our culture.
Language
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 gives identity to a group of people and even a nation. Speaking another
language
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 in a particular country can rob them of their culture as their original mother tongue can fade away. A typical example is Africa and the
English
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language
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. Most citizens of Ghana speak
English
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 than their native
language
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. There are a few instances where the current generation
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 lost the ability to speak their mother tongue. Meanwhile, the
English
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language
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 is used everywhere
thus
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 teaching in schools and the official
language
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 of the nation. I do not think it is appropriate for Ghanaians to not be able to speak their country's
language
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 whilst they fluently use the
English
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language
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.
Hence
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, I agree
this
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 is a social problem that can arise from using a foreign
language
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.
In addition
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, understanding a
language
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 forms the basis of
communication
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 and makes living easier. Understanding a foreign
language
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 can be challenging and makes it difficult for people to achieve simple tasks in a community where
this
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 foreign
language
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 cannot be understood.
For instance
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, a person may not understand the label on
toilet
Correct article usage
the toilet
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 doors and
this
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 can lead to a man using
Correct article usage
a females'
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females'
Change noun form
female's
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 washroom,
whereas
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 females may end up using
men's
Correct article usage
the men's
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 washroom.
This
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 makes it evident that confusion can be caused
from
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by
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 misunderstood
communication
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. In conclusion, foreign
language
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 use has social and practical
downside
Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
show examples
. I agree with
this
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.

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully develops all parts of the prompt. While you have agreed with the statement, continue to provide a balanced view by potentially discussing any opposite perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by making transitions between ideas clearer. Also, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Expand on the ideas to make them more comprehensive and detailed. Add more examples if possible to support the main points further.
coherence cohesion
Integrate more linking words and phrases to create cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This will help readers follow the argument more easily.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the issue and sticks to the main topic effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which frame the response well.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, such as the situation in Ghana.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph deals with a specific aspect of the topic, contributing to a well-organized response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • language barrier
  • social integration
  • employment opportunities
  • access to services
  • cultural understanding
  • economic stability
  • isolation
  • misunderstanding
  • community events
  • social activities
  • alienation
  • cultural exchange
  • unequal treatment
  • social disparities
  • fluency
  • job seekers
  • industry requirements
  • language proficiency
  • nuances
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