Countries are becoming more and more similar because people can buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, it is believed that
nations
are seemingly the same because individuals are purchasing similar goods globally. In my view, I think
this
is a good achievement because
people
no longer need to travel to other
nations
and time is saved. 
Firstly
,
people
have been travelling to other
countries
looking for different goods,
however
, it is a great development, now that the goods they were travelling for are now available in their
nations
. Why go to another nation, if the product you need is available where you are?
For example
, in some African kingdoms, there
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been shortages of
medication
Further
, some companies were getting the same
medication
in other nearby
countries
and unfortunately, were selling the
medication
at
ridiculous
Change the adjective
ridiculously
show examples
high prices.  Fortunately, the government collaborated with other
nations
, and now the
medication
is in full supply in all places and is being sold at normal prices. 
Secondly
, the fact that similar items have been made available, is an indicator that time is saved for all the
people
or businessmen who travelled to other
nations
looking for the unavailable products. 
Further
, in many companies,
sales
Correct your spelling
salespeople
show examples
people
were sent to buy these items in boarding
countries
and they would
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
a day or more doing that. 
For instance
, in some car companies,
sales
Correct your spelling
salespeople
show examples
people
travel to different
countries
for days or weeks looking for car parts.  Considering all the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
they spend doing that, if the same car parts are available in their
nations
, there would be no need to go out. In conclusion, there are now more similarities in
nations
, mainly because of the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they all have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
products globally,
hence
this
is a positive development. 
Additionally
, there is no longer a need to do
travelling
Change the form of the verb
travel
show examples
all over the world,
moreso
Correct your spelling
more so
, time is not wasted as the same products are available all over the world.
Submitted by pncubeterera on

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coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are clearly linked to the central argument and make use of linking words to enhance flow.
task achievement
Clarify some of your examples to make them more directly relevant to the point you are making. For instance, elaborate more on how the availability of medication or car parts at home has direct benefits in saving time or cost.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with examples.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a clear stance on the issue.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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