Countries are becoming more and more similar because people can buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, it is believed that
nations
are seemingly the same because individuals are purchasing similar goods globally. In my view, I think this
is a good achievement because people
no longer need to travel to other nations
and time is saved.
Firstly
, people
have been travelling to other countries
looking for different goods, however
, it is a great development, now that the goods they were travelling for are now available in their nations
. Why go to another nation, if the product you need is available where you are? For example
, in some African kingdoms, there has
been shortages of Change the verb form
have
medication
. Further
, some companies were getting the same medication
in other nearby countries
and unfortunately, were selling the medication
at ridiculous
high prices. Fortunately, the government collaborated with other Change the adjective
ridiculously
nations
, and now the medication
is in full supply in all places and is being sold at normal prices.
Secondly
, the fact that similar items have been made available, is an indicator that time is saved for all the people
or businessmen who travelled to other nations
looking for the unavailable products. Further
, in many companies, sales
Correct your spelling
salespeople
people
were sent to buy these items in boarding countries
and they would spent
a day or more doing that. Change the verb form
spend
For instance
, in some car companies, sales
Correct your spelling
salespeople
people
travel to different countries
for days or weeks looking for car parts. Considering all the times
they spend doing that, if the same car parts are available in their Fix the agreement mistake
time
nations
, there would be no need to go out.
In conclusion, there are now more similarities in nations
, mainly because of the fact that,
they all have Remove the comma
apply
same
products globally, Correct article usage
the same
hence
this
is a positive development. Additionally
, there is no longer a need to do travelling
all over the world, Change the form of the verb
travel
moreso
, time is not wasted as the same products are available all over the world.Correct your spelling
more so
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coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are clearly linked to the central argument and make use of linking words to enhance flow.
task achievement
Clarify some of your examples to make them more directly relevant to the point you are making. For instance, elaborate more on how the availability of medication or car parts at home has direct benefits in saving time or cost.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with examples.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a clear stance on the issue.