WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
#minutes #people #governments #access #people’s #phone #records #messages #safety #information #permission
There is no doubt that these days country's security is a vital
matters
to many governments around the world. Change the noun form
matter
While
,
there are certain individuals Remove the comma
apply
argue
that their private Correct pronoun usage
who argue
information
should not be available to the government
without their permission. Others, including myself
believe that the Add the comma(s)
myself,
government
have the right to access mobile phone
calls
records and messages to ensure that Correct subject-verb agreement
call
Correct article usage
the scurity
scurity
and safety of the country are in control.
Some people, Correct your spelling
security
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
oppos
Correct your spelling
oppose
this
idea, giving
Wrong verb form
give
Add an article
a reason
the reason
reason
why they are Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
aginst
collecting personal Correct your spelling
against
information
without permission. government
syber
security Correct your spelling
cyber
system
face hacking Fix the agreement mistake
systems
attakes
from other countries. Correct your spelling
attacks
Therefore
, a lot of individuals prefer to keep their privacy safe.
However
, in my opinion, there are several reasons to support government
decsions
regarding my Correct your spelling
decisions
decision
country
safety. Change noun form
country's
Firts
, Correct your spelling
First
teriorist
attacks have been Correct your spelling
terrorist
happining
in numerous parts of the world. One clear example is the Correct your spelling
happening
terorist
attack that happened in Russia Correct your spelling
terrorist
last
year,
when Remove the comma
apply
terioris
Correct your spelling
terrorists
entred
a Correct your spelling
entered
theater
and killed more than 100 Change the spelling
theatre
of
Russian citizens. They connected via Change preposition
apply
phone
messages to plan an attack. In other words
, if government
Correct article usage
the government
scurity
system was monitoring the mobile messages, there was not an attack. Correct your spelling
security
Moreover
, skaming
Correct your spelling
skimming
orgnizations
are targeting people's bank accounts to steal money from them by Correct your spelling
organisations
deciving
Correct your spelling
deceiving
receiving
phone
calls, in a process called social engineering.
In conclusion, although
some individuals choose to keep their personal information
private, I believe that government
should have access to people's mobile Correct article usage
the government
phone
and other Fix the agreement mistake
phones
devices
Change noun form
devices'
device's
information
to prefent
any harm that may Correct your spelling
prevent
happens
to the safety and security of our nation.Change the verb form
happen
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grammar
Try to avoid small grammatical errors and typographical mistakes. For example, 'oppos' should be 'oppose', 'agianst' should be 'against', 'decsions' should be 'decisions'.
vocabulary
Work on improving your vocabulary and spelling accuracy. Words like 'terorist', 'secutiry', and 'skaming' affect the readability of your essay.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph is coherent and logically connected. Although the essay flows well, some sentences need more coherence for clarity.
task achievement
You have clearly stated both views on the topic, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
relevant specific examples
The examples you provided, such as the terrorist attack in Russia, are relevant and support your argument effectively.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the essay's overall structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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