Students who are given grades work harder than those who do not. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Some people believe that
students
Use synonyms
who receive scores on their exams will study more compared to those who do not. I agree with
this
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stance because obtaining outcomes will enable
students
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' competitiveness and allow them to achieve something great.
To begin
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with, a school that provides grades to its
students
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usually will rank their performances based on their final results.
This
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will trigger them to learn diligently as they become ambitious to get better scores than their classmates. Having a bad grade will make them embarrassed, especially if their position in the classroom is announced bluntly by their teacher.
For example
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, in my past experience, I was devastated because of my poor performance in the first grade of high school.
This
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event has made me push myself to make more effort to get a better score. Because of that attempt, my final score increased significantly in the second grade.
Furthermore
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, giving a final result to
students
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will motivate them to work persistently, because they would refer to it as an accomplishment. A success can be called one because it has to be measured.
For instance
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, many companies are now giving their staff performance and evaluation indicators or KPIs, so that workers can reflect and become more hard-working to achieve the KPI. In conclusion, there has been an opinion that accommodating grades for
students
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will make them learn more meticulously than not providing at all. I completely agree with
this
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statement because having a good performance will bring out their competitive side, and they can refer to it as a successful result.
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and provides relevant examples to support the arguments. To enhance the 'Task Achievement' score, try to provide more elaboration on each example and linking them directly to the main arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the essay generally flows well, there are a few places where transitions between ideas could be smoother. Work on using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which succinctly present the main argument and summarize the points discussed.
task achievement
There are specific and relevant examples provided to support each main point, which helps in making the essay more convincing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tangible goals
  • measurable target
  • concrete sense of achievement
  • feedback mechanism
  • strengths and weaknesses
  • competition
  • incentive
  • outperform
  • scholarships
  • future opportunities
  • self-esteem
  • personal satisfaction
  • external pressure
  • societal expectations
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