Students who are given grades work harder than those who do not. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In
this
cutting -edge
Correct your spelling
cutting-edge
show examples
era, learning is an important tool in everyone's life.which may decide our future.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, Children who get
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
grades
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
hardly more than the
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
who
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
do not achieve high
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
.I strongly agree with
this
notion.
This
essay will articulate predominant reasons for agreement in forthcoming paragraphs,
along with
a relevant conclusion. To commence with, myriad
students
have an ambition in their life,to earn
this
they spend their precious time for study purpose .To epitome, as per my own experience,when I was a child,my aim was to become a doctor.
Therefore
, I utilised my leisure period as well and I reached
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my goal. If a society
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
strong actions , nobody can distract them.Our choices have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
power to move on
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
pathways.They believe in their own abilities.
Secondly
, most
students
are competent with other
students
.
Moreover
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
are aware of their family background.
For instance
,one of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
was from
low - class
Correct your spelling
a low-class
show examples
family and she took
bank
Add an article
a bank
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loan for education
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.She never spent her free time with friends,she used it for training.She was the 1st rank holder in my class.Because she knows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,how much her parents are struggling for her.
whenever
Capitalize word
Whenever
show examples
people try to reach
top
Add an article
the top
show examples
level ,they must think about their parents,by remembering them
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
will get
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inspiration
Replace the word
inspired
show examples
to reach their purpose.Somebody would motivate them from the heart.
To conclude
,as a student, people
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
struggled
Wrong verb form
struggle
show examples
to become a class topper.Through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
listening
Add a comma
listening,
show examples
we collect
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various knowledge in our memory.Student's
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
status forces them to gain their needs.Comparatively,
students
are
well
Rephrase
more
show examples
competitive than adults.I really agree with
this
statement.
Large
Change the article
A large
show examples
amount of people
faces
Change the verb form
face
show examples
many problems in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
to get
a higher marks
Correct the article-noun agreement
higher marks
a higher mark
show examples
.There is no
any options
Fix the agreement mistake
option
show examples
than hard work.
Submitted by saniyasunny1848 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay starts with a well-defined introduction and concludes with a summary; however, there are a few grammatical errors that disrupt the flow. Try to proofread for better sentence structure.
task achievement
To improve the clarity of your ideas, make sure each paragraph contains one main idea supported by specific examples and explanations. This will make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples to support your opinion, showcasing personal experiences which strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your thoughts effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tangible goals
  • measurable target
  • concrete sense of achievement
  • feedback mechanism
  • strengths and weaknesses
  • competition
  • incentive
  • outperform
  • scholarships
  • future opportunities
  • self-esteem
  • personal satisfaction
  • external pressure
  • societal expectations
What to do next:
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