Some believe that research on family history is a useful thing to do, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It is argued that studying one's family

history

Use synonyms

is worthwhile

while

Linking Words

others say it is not.

While

Linking Words

it might seem to be useless to know about their ancestors'

history

Use synonyms

, I strongly believe that learning about their family background will make

people

Use synonyms

’s lives healthier. On the one hand, nowadays, most

people

Use synonyms

do not think that knowing their ancestors is not necessary. Not only is searching for the right family

history

Use synonyms

difficult

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

the information can be manipulated at some point.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, even though they might get the right data,

people

Use synonyms

do not have enough time to obtain information about their family

history

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, provided statistics by Yeonsei University show that

people

Use synonyms

do not have enough time and technology to learn about their family

history

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they are focused on their livelihoods.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, genetics play a fundamental role in shaping human health.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is crucial to know their exact family

history

Use synonyms

. If humans are willing to learn about their family

history

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

they can know more specifically about their

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can live more healthier.

For instance

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

a study conducted by Seoul National University Hospital, 85% of diseases are from

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

genetic factors.

This

Linking Words

means that if you are aware of your risk factors

then

Linking Words

you can prevent numerous diseases. In conclusion, though more and more

people

Use synonyms

think that it is not important to research family

history

Use synonyms

, I think that having knowledge about their ancestors is key for descendants to lead a happier and healthier life.

2505shWed May 21 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea. This helps the reader to follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to better illustrate your points, especially in your discussion of genetic factors and family history.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid singular/plural inconsistencies, ensuring phrases like 'people do not think that knowing their ancestors is not necessary' are clearly framed. For instance, rephrase to maintain clarity: 'Many people believe that knowing their ancestors is unnecessary.'

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, effectively establishing your stance in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion, providing a strong closing to your argument.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or anegative trend?
These days, many customers prefer to purchase locally produced goods rather than imported products. I strongly support them, since this simple action not only could be beneficial for an individual’s financial situation but also could lead to the progress of a country.
7
band
Dangerous sports are increasingly popular with young people. Why are these spots so appealing to them? What measures should be taken to minimize the risks
These days, many young people especially teenagers choose to be busy with extreme diversion. In this essay, I will explore why the community prefer to participate in dangerous sports and propose some solutions to minimize the risks.
7
band
Write a letter to a friend who will come to your country to work for 6 months. In your letter, you should: •recommend a city •suggest a few jobs that your friend could do •give some opinions about making friends with the locals.
Hello John. I think I could help you find a job. Firstly you should know, which city you prefer. In my opinion, the best city in my country for you could be Astana or Almaty because in these cities a lot of different jobs. In Astana, you can work as a courier or a tutor. Courier has a lot of different advantages for instance big salary without experience. Tutor has advantages too, for example, working online or a big salary also. Nevertheless, Almaty has the same jobs as you. If you are a good worker you will have a good salary for the first time. Additionally, you won't have a problem with housing due to in Astana a lot of houses which you can rent. You can rent any house that you want at a low price. And not a small important factor that you will need a friend, but I know that you are a funny boy so I believe that it's not a problem for you. To sum up I believe that you can come here without any problem with a job or friends. My advice to you is just to believe in yourself. Good ...
6
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, the advertising industry has expanded. Although some opine that most people's purchases are occurred because of advertisements, some others argue that such procedure has become conventional and it is not anymore attractive for individuals. I agree with the first perspective and both notions will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
7.5
band
Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Top management, for example, directors and managers, play an important role in monitoring businesses and making the right decisions. People who are suitable for these positions should have sufficient technical knowledge as well as managing skills. Nowadays, organisations’ leaders are often older people. However, some people comment that it is better to have young leaders. This essay will elaborate on the reasons why I agree that young people should be leaders.

Some believe that research on family history is a useful thing to do, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or anegative trend?

Dangerous sports are increasingly popular with young people. Why are these spots so appealing to them? What measures should be taken to minimize the risks

Write a letter to a friend who will come to your country to work for 6 months. In your letter, you should: •recommend a city •suggest a few jobs that your friend could do •give some opinions about making friends with the locals.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?