IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase of globalisation produce positive effect to everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

#spread #companies #globalisation #effect
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It is believed that a boost of globalization, because of the expansion of businesses in every nook and corner of the world can bring tons of advantages. I totally agree with the given statement, and
this
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 essay will
further
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 shed light on its valid points in the discussion. First of all, the enhancement of business and ideas in other countries will give rise to the GDP of the nation.
In other words
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, the
exchange
Use synonyms
 of products can build unbreakable bonds with other countries.
For instance
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, Dubai has a scarcity of water but produces lots of oil daily, so it sells fuel to different countries and gets water in
exchange
Use synonyms
 for that. It generates around 20% of the business alone with it,
according to
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 the latest news report on the internet.
Moreover
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, another
exchange
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 is taking advantage of innovations anywhere across the globe. By that, it means, that in
this
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 era of creativity, people can use technology
that is
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 origin far away from where they live with the help of globalization. The appropriate epitome for
this
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 is AI, artificial intelligence. It developed in the US during an experiment at 'Dartmouth College' in America.
However
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, its different versions are available everywhere in the world, so that individuals can solve their problems with a single click. In conclusion, it is indeed true that the
exchange
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 of thoughts, products, and food are crucial part of our lives and if it is possible globally,
then
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 it should be encouraged by everybody. In my opinion, globalization is a boon to the society.
Submitted by pateldhruvi038 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly articulated and logically connected throughout the essay. Avoid overly general statements and ensure each point directly supports your argument.
task achievement
Provide more depth and detail in your examples to better support your main points. Avoid repetition and ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and appropriate structure, with a good introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples to illustrate your points, which helps to clarify and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your main points are generally well-supported and relevant to the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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