You have recently moved to a new apartment. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter: explain why you have moved describe your new apartment invite him/her to pay a visit

#apartment #friend #visit

Dear Myu friend, I hope you and your family are

good

Change preposition

in good

show examples

condition and healthy. I am writing

this

letter to inform you that

currently

Add a comma

currently,

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I move to

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

appartment

Correct your spelling

apartment

due to

I feel

booring

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boring

in the apartment before.

To begin

with, I have

stay

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stayed

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in the

apartmen

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apartment

namely building

senggigi

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Senggigi

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. But I have some

froblems

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problems

over there like

Correct article usage

the thebethroom

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thebethroom

Correct your spelling

the bathroom

Add an article

the

show examples

bed, and

also

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

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water inside is not clear. The next reason is

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show examples

stay in the place alone. So I want to move to another

Correct your spelling

apartment

appartment

. In

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addition

addtion

Add a comma

addtion,

show examples

I will tell you

abaut

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about

my new

appartment

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apartment

. The name is building

santong

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Santong

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, the room

there

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show examples

is absolutely good,

also

the

servis

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services

service

are very nice and

quickly

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quick

show examples

then

the water is full with the clean. If you want to stay with me over there, I want to invite you

for

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show examples

leave there. and we can play anything we want and we can

dinner

Add a missing verb

have dinner

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together in my new

appartment

Correct your spelling

apartment

. Thank you for your attention and your

avdinve

Correct your spelling

audience

, I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Your

Correct the word

Yours

show examples

Sincerely Saparwadi

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Sat Jun 29 2024

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task achievement

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. For example, 'I have moved to another apartment' instead of 'I move to another apartment.'

coherence cohesion

Try to make transitions between ideas smoother. Right now, some parts feel abrupt.

task achievement

Your writing tone is friendly and inviting, which suits the purpose of the letter.

task achievement

You provided clear reasons for your move and described the new apartment well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

178 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You have recently moved to a new apartment. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter: explain why you have moved describe your new apartment invite him/her to pay a visit

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Childhood obesity has become a pressing issue in many societies

At the present time,the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people. do the advantages of this sitation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays young people know less about traditions and culture than in the past. What are the reasons for it? Is this a positive development or a negative development?

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?