Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries. What are the causes? Give solutions to increase the number of people to know about famous people in history.
Nowadays, a lot of young
people
have a better knowledge
related to international actors or actresses rather than the famous individuals from their countries' history
. In my opinion, it is clear that
this
phenomenon has continually happened because of
Change preposition
for
myriads reason
, but two main factors would be the advancement of technology and lack of patriotism Fix the agreement mistake
myriad reasons
feeling
among youngsters. Verb problem
apply
In addition
, two ways that can be used to overcome this
problem are adding the number of hours of history related
subjects in school, Add a hyphen
history-related
as well as
utilizing mass media such
as TV to make a trivia program regarding history
of their Add an article
the history
country
, which will be further
elaborate on the following paragraphs.
The advancement of technology that has
happened several decades ago has influenced our younger generations as a high-tech-literate individual. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
, many young generations have a great capability of using handphones, laptops, and also
the internet
. The internet
of Capitalize word
Internet
things
has played a significant role to them, particularly Capitalize word
Things
for
knowing what happens overseas, Change preposition
in
such
as knowing the new comer
actresses or actors, their achievements in the entertainment industry, and even their gossip or private lives. Correct your spelling
newcomer
This
phenomenon has happened because the internet
can bring real time
news to other countries, Add a hyphen
real-time
and
particularly young individuals. Correct word choice
apply
In addition
, research has shown that generally
youngsters have a lack of patriotism. Particularly in Indonesia, they do not even know who is the founding father of the Add a comma
generally,
country
, and many cannot mention the five principles of the country
.
To overcome this
matter, I strongly believe that adding the
portion of Correct article usage
a
history related
subjects in school could work well. Knowing the roots of the Add a hyphen
history-related
country
, the origin, and what has happened in the past could retain the negative impact of technology such
as the internet
,
so that young Remove the comma
apply
people
have a great balance of knowledge
between the history
of the country
, and what is happening right now around the globe. Additionally
, the government could also
regulate some rules regarding television programs. For instance
, each tv
station should have a program related to the Correct your spelling
TV
history
of the country
every week, not just at a certain time such
as independence day
.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that Correct your spelling
Independence Day
by
adding Change preposition
apply
the
portion of Correct article usage
a
history related
subjects in school and giving the young generations additional information from television programs could tackle the phenomena related to young Add a hyphen
history-related
people
's knowledge
about famous people
from their country
's history
, and balancing the knowledge
to know what is happening around the world today.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure to maintain a logical flow in your arguments. For example, instead of jumping from one idea to another, try to create a smooth transition between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Enhance your essay with more specific and diverse examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Try to expand on your points with more depth. This can involve discussing potential counterarguments or further elaborating on how the solutions can be implemented.
introduction conclusion present
You've clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and provided an overview of the causes and solutions.
logical structure
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow. The use of specific terms such as 'advancement of technology' and 'lack of patriotism' helps to clarify your main points.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...