IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph provides information about the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of living people in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
Thailand
Use synonyms
, and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 from 1970 to 2020 followed by the forecast
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2030 and 2040. It can be seen that from 1970 to 2020, the society's percentage fluctuated in
Phillipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
were increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 moderately.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the projection
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2030 to 2040 increased gradually for all countries. From 1970 to 1990, the percentage of the population in
Phillipines
Correct article usage
the Phillipines
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 50%, and had a downfall to 40% in 2020.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of living people in
Thailand
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stabilized by 25% from 1990 to 2020.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 gained 70% of population in 2020.
In addition
Linking Words
, the prophecy for the living society in 2030 and 2024 for four countries have
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
risen
 slowly by 25% to 35% in
Thailand
Use synonyms
, 45% to 50% in
Correct article usage
the Phillipines
show examples
Phillipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
, 57% to 60% in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
, and 80% to 82% in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by faisa8687 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, thailand, indonesia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: