Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many
indviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
assume that it is
neccessary
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necessary
for
students
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and
staffS
Correct your spelling
staff
to compete with each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. In
constract
Correct your spelling
contrast
,
others
Use synonyms
think that we should try to be more unit, rather than competing against each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. In
thiss
Correct your spelling
this
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and give my personal opinions from my knowledge and experiences. On the one hand, there are two reasons why some
people
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believe that
compettion
Correct your spelling
competition
at
work
Use synonyms
, at school in daily
life
Use synonyms
is a great thing. First of all, having
Use synonyms
competition
Add an article
a competition
show examples
at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
can help to improve the
employs
Change noun form
employ's
employs'
show examples
and staff's performance more efficiently.
Competition
Use synonyms
can make individuals
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
perform better and reach higher levels of achievement. It can motivate
students
Use synonyms
to study harder and employees to
work
Use synonyms
more efficiently. Not only improving performance, but
also
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
Use synonyms
feel less bored and lazy in daily
life
Use synonyms
. Because of staying in
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
the competitive
show examples
environment,
people
Use synonyms
feel very
challenging
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challenged
show examples
and
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
, at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
consequence, it is so difficult for
people
Use synonyms
to get bored in their
life
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
others
Use synonyms
assume cooperation in
work
Use synonyms
and school is more crucial than competing
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
main two reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
indviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
should try to
collarate
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collaborate
more because they will learn numerous
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
skills. Working together will
hepl
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help
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
and
students
Use synonyms
learn how to collab with each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
, plan for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
projects, manage members, etc. These are extremely vital skills if you want to be
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
in the future,
therefore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
In addition
Linking Words
, cooperation
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
students
Use synonyms
and
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
be more unit and have more close relationships.
Linking Words
Due to encouraging
Change preposition
Encouraging
show examples
to
build
Replace the word
building
show examples
of strong relationships
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can lead to better communication and understanding among individuals. In conclusion, many
people
Use synonyms
think that
competition
Use synonyms
at
work
Use synonyms
, at school in daily
life
Use synonyms
is a nice thing
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
it can make
people
Use synonyms
feel less bored and lazy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
having many
abitilities
Correct your spelling
abilities
to learn some
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
skills,
Use synonyms
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
assume we need to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
cooperate more than
competing
Wrong verb form
compete
show examples
againist
Correct your spelling
against
each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.
Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Work on correcting spelling mistakes such as 'indviduals' to 'individuals', 'neccessary' to 'necessary', 'staffS' to 'staff', 'constract' to 'contrast', 'thiss' to 'this', 'compettition' to 'competition', 'hepl' to 'help', 'collarate' to 'collaborate', 'success' to 'succeed', 'unit' to 'unite', 'abitilities' to 'abilities', 'againist' to 'against'. Spelling is important in improving the readability and professionalism of your essay.
relevant specific examples
Enhance your paragraphs with more specific examples to support your points. For instance, provide specific scenarios or studies that illustrate the benefits of competition or cooperation in schools or workplaces.
logical structure
Improve the logical structure of the essay by ensuring that each point flows smoothly into the next. Use transition phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'On the contrary', 'In addition', etc. to connect your ideas better.
introduction conclusion
Make sure to explain your personal opinion more thoroughly in the conclusion. While you did state your opinion, providing more explanation or a final thought would strengthen your response.
introduction conclusion
You provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
You offered balanced discussion points for both views, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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