Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

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Many

indviduals

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individuals

assume that it is

neccessary

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necessary

for

students

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and

staffS

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staff

to compete with each

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others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

. In

constract

Correct your spelling

contrast

others

Use synonyms

think that we should try to be more unit, rather than competing against each

Use synonyms

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

. In

thiss

Correct your spelling

this

essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and give my personal opinions from my knowledge and experiences. On the one hand, there are two reasons why some

people

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believe that

compettion

Correct your spelling

competition

work

Use synonyms

, at school in daily

life

Use synonyms

is a great thing. First of all, having

Use synonyms

competition

Add an article

a competition

show examples

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

can help to improve the

employs

Change noun form

employ's

employs'

show examples

and staff's performance more efficiently.

Competition

Use synonyms

can make individuals

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

perform better and reach higher levels of achievement. It can motivate

students

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to study harder and employees to

work

Use synonyms

more efficiently. Not only improving performance, but

also

Linking Words

competition

Use synonyms

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

people

Use synonyms

feel less bored and lazy in daily

life

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. Because of staying in

competitive

Add an article

a competitive

the competitive

show examples

environment,

people

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feel very

challenging

Replace the word

challenged

show examples

and

interesting

Replace the word

interested

show examples

, at

the

Correct article usage

show examples

consequence, it is so difficult for

people

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to get bored in their

life

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On the other hand

Linking Words

others

Use synonyms

assume cooperation in

work

Use synonyms

and school is more crucial than competing

according

Add the preposition

according to

show examples

main two reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

indviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

should try to

collarate

Correct your spelling

collaborate

more because they will learn numerous

team

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

work

Use synonyms

skills. Working together will

hepl

Correct your spelling

help

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

and

students

Use synonyms

learn how to collab with each

Use synonyms

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

, plan for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

projects, manage members, etc. These are extremely vital skills if you want to be

success

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successful

show examples

in the future,

therefore

Linking Words

, some

people

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believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

In addition

Linking Words

, cooperation

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

students

Use synonyms

and

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

be more unit and have more close relationships.

Linking Words

Due to encouraging

Change preposition

Encouraging

show examples

build

Replace the word

building

show examples

of strong relationships

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can lead to better communication and understanding among individuals. In conclusion, many

people

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think that

competition

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

, at school in daily

life

Use synonyms

is a nice thing

beacause

Correct your spelling

because

it can make

people

Use synonyms

feel less bored and lazy.

On the other hand

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

having many

abitilities

Correct your spelling

abilities

to learn some

team

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

work

Use synonyms

skills,

Use synonyms

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

people

Use synonyms

assume we need to

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

cooperate more than

competing

Wrong verb form

compete

show examples

againist

Correct your spelling

against

each

Use synonyms

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on Sat Jun 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas

Work on correcting spelling mistakes such as 'indviduals' to 'individuals', 'neccessary' to 'necessary', 'staffS' to 'staff', 'constract' to 'contrast', 'thiss' to 'this', 'compettition' to 'competition', 'hepl' to 'help', 'collarate' to 'collaborate', 'success' to 'succeed', 'unit' to 'unite', 'abitilities' to 'abilities', 'againist' to 'against'. Spelling is important in improving the readability and professionalism of your essay.

relevant specific examples

Enhance your paragraphs with more specific examples to support your points. For instance, provide specific scenarios or studies that illustrate the benefits of competition or cooperation in schools or workplaces.

logical structure

Improve the logical structure of the essay by ensuring that each point flows smoothly into the next. Use transition phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'On the contrary', 'In addition', etc. to connect your ideas better.

introduction conclusion

Make sure to explain your personal opinion more thoroughly in the conclusion. While you did state your opinion, providing more explanation or a final thought would strengthen your response.

introduction conclusion

You provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion.

clear comprehensive ideas

You offered balanced discussion points for both views, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries , students live with their family while studying at a university . In other countries ,students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more excercise and spend more time with their family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems.What are the causes o this and what are some solutions

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?