The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The picture indicates the production
process
of sugar
from the
scratch. There are 7 steps to Correct article usage
apply
process
sugar
cane
into sugar
.
First,
we have to grow the sugar
cane
until it reaches the harvest age of 12-18 months. Afterwards, the sugar
cane
is harvested by using either a harvest machine or conventional tools. The harvesting method by using machinery costs significant money yet saves time and energy, while
the conventional method requires more time and energy yet it is cheaper.
The trunk of sugar
cane
then
needs to be transported to the sugar
factories where it is processed further
. The sugar
canes are crushed by the crushing machine and turned into sugar
cane
juice
. The next step is
to purify the juice
by using a limestone filter. Furthermore
, the juice
is put into a large container called an evaporator where it boils until the juice
becomes syrup. After that, we have to separate the sugar
crystal from the syrup by using an equipment called a centrifuge. After the separation process
is finished, then
we can continue to the last
step which is drying and cooling. The sugar
is obtained after
this
process
and can be packed for further
distribution.Submitted by rianadmaja on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, cane, juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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