These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. Do advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?
Nowdays
, Correct the word
Nowadays
people
are trying to improve themselves by improve
their professional profiles. There are various features to Change the verb form
improving
work
in more than Wrong verb form
working
one
job such
as self-regulate
, Correct your spelling
self-regulation
Correct word choice
and gain
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
uncountable
Correct article usage
an uncountable
of
Change preposition
apply
experiences
. Undoubtedly there are Fix the agreement mistake
experience
also
negetive
impacts to Correct your spelling
negative
work
in two or three Wrong verb form
working
jobs
like: no focus and high
level of strain.
On Correct article usage
a high
one
hand, the main Correct article usage
the one
advantages
of working in many places Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
is
self-confidence, Change the verb form
are
People
who have integrated with a large segment of society can handle more responsibility than the
others, Correct article usage
apply
due to
the fact that these people
are more muture
and have the ability to solve any problem and develop Correct your spelling
mature
awareness
of their thinking processes. Add an article
an awareness
For example
, my cousin is an accountant, she worked in many organizations, after years she had a high experiences
that gave her the opportunity to Correct the article-noun agreement
a high experience
high experiences
worked
in the big four Change the verb
work
spicifcally
KPMG.
Correct your spelling
specifically
On the other hand
, there are several negetive
impacts to Correct your spelling
negative
work
two or three Wrong verb form
working
jobs
together or change
Wrong verb form
changing
jobs
. many company’s
struggled with Change noun form
companies
turover
cause to the employees. many employees Correct your spelling
turnover
turnovers
changed
Wrong verb form
change
there
Replace the word
their
jobs
and that can lead to huge problems. For instance
, my brother always changed his job and one
time he was strain
because no agency accepted him because of his history.
In conclusion, the features of working more than Wrong verb form
strained
one
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
is
overtook the disadvantages. In my opinion, Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
profassional
life needs Correct your spelling
professional
people
with high levels and skills, they want a human with many abilities such
as solving problems and self control
.Add a hyphen
self-control
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task response
Your essay should begin with a clearer introduction that better outlines the scope of the discussion. Moreover, transition paragraphs need to be smoother to help the readers follow your arguments effortlessly. For example, phrases such as 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' can be used to transition to contrasting points, but they could be further refined.
coherence and cohesion
In order to enhance coherence, try to present each set of ideas in a distinct paragraph. Linking words and cohesive devices should be used more effectively. Some sentences felt slightly disjointed—ensure the ideas flow from one to the next smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay to reduce spelling mistakes ('negetive' should be 'negative'; 'profassional' should be 'professional'). Moreover, the examples provided could be better integrated into the discussion to make your points more compelling and easier to follow.
task response
When discussing advantages and disadvantages, try to ensure the examples provided are balanced in detail and relevance. Some examples were relevant but could use more depth, while others needed clearer linkage to the main point being discussed.
task response
You provided specific examples to support your points, which helps in making your arguments more tangible and relatable.
task response
You attempted to give a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which is crucial for a higher band score as it shows depth in your response.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is followed, which lays a good foundation for essay coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.