Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?
Nowadays,
Children
spend a significant time of their days using technologies in general, and in particular
smartphones
. There are many reasons and explanations for this
issue, especially with technological advancement. Some people would argue that using smartphones
for long hours holds significant drawbacks in children
’s development. Others might believe that using smartphones
from an early age can have substantial benefits for children
. In this
essay, I will cover the causes and explanations of this
developing issue, both points view
and my opinion.
Change preposition
of view
Smartphones
noticed significant development and increase in use
since the beginning of the 20th century. These days, smartphones
have become a major thing in every person’s life. Many children
, as part of the
society, have Correct article usage
apply
smartphones
and use
them daily. One of the major points leading to the popularity of smartphone use
among children
is the technological advancement of smartphones
nowadays. Smartphones
become a major source of entertainment with access
to unlimited games
, social media apps, and internet search and exploration. Additionally
, smartphones
replaced completely home phones, and the possession of smartphones
is essential these days.
However
, as with anything in this
life, smartphone use
among children
has pros and cons. One of the pros is definitely the access
to unlimited educational videos, articles, electronic books, and even virtual learning classes and lectures. Nevertheless
, instead
of the need to buy toys and video games
, smartphones
give children
access
to games
that fit all tastes. Conversely
, Smartphones
Fix the agreement mistake
Smartphone
use
among children
can also
lead to many problems and drawbacks. Firstly
, children
might be able if not supervised well to access
contents that are adults only. Moreover
, Children
might play online video games
with adults or even older adolescents exposing them to many dangers the
can even cause emotional or sexual abuse.
In Conclusion, I believe that using Correct your spelling
that
smartphones
in moderation and under supervision can be beneficial for children
. It can be helpful to help them reach educational videos that will enhance their skills. Parents need to teach and educate their children
about the appropriate way to use
smartphones
and explore the internet browser. With education and supervision, Children
would be able to use
smartphones
safely for educational and recreational activities.Submitted by fahadajl64 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Sometimes, the flow of ideas can seem abrupt.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the main points effectively.
task achievement
The response addresses both parts of the question, explaining why children spend so much time on smartphones and discussing both the positive and negative aspects of this.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.