In some countries, people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is this a negative or positive development?

#countries #people #hours #work #happen #development

In recent years, there has been a growing recognition of the popularity of working for long hours. From my standpoint, I gravitate toward those who believe that it is a negative tendency.

This

essay will expound upon

this

by providing reasons why it happens and practical examples.

Firstly

, there are tons of elements that cause

this

issue.

It is clear that

personal demands are

Correct your spelling

show examples

decisive importance. Specifically, most people have their own fees

such

as cost of living, and it costs a large amount of money, meaning that it creates a motivation for them to work harder so that they can earn a fortune to afford things more easily.

Thus

, it is possible that workers can live more comfortably.

For instance

according to

recent data which was reported by news gave the information about shopping, it was incredible that most Vietnamese people spend over 60% of their income to follow their passion

such

as buying new cameras for satisfaction.

Secondly

, it should be noted that

this

problem is detrimental to workers. It is

due to

the fact that mental health is compromised by working for long hours, since they may be under the pressure of a hectic schedule without relaxing or reducing stress.

Consequently

, it paves the way for ease of being autistic. In the case of citizens living in Singapore which has the highest salary per person witnessed the highest proportion of suicide in 2018 because of work overload

along with

the expensive renting accommodations. In conclusion, I lean toward individuals believing it is a harmful trend. One of the reasons why they go

for working

Change preposition

to work

show examples

for a long time is to earn money to live more comfortably.

Nonetheless

, it brings numerous drawbacks to workers

such

as having the ability to be autistic or anti-social came from long-time suffering pressure.

Sat Jun 29 2024

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task achievement

Your essay generally addresses the task prompt effectively by discussing reasons for long working hours and establishing it as a negative development. However, you could strengthen your arguments by providing more substantial and varied examples and clearer explanations of your main points.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow of your ideas by using more varied transitional phrases and improving the organization of your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea.

task achievement

Your introduction effectively sets up your argument and provides a clear stance on the issue, which is valuable for guiding the reader.

coherence cohesion

The essay concludes with a succinct summary of your arguments, reinforcing your viewpoint effectively.

task achievement

You use relevant specific examples, such as the spending habits of Vietnamese people and the situation in Singapore, which help illustrate your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prevalent
economic pressures
financial stability
competitive job markets
corporate cultures
stigma
demonstrate dedication
advent of technology
blurred the lines
accelerated career progression
dedicated employee
significant negative implications
stress levels
mental health
physical health
social and family time
productivity
burnout
flexible working hours
work-life balance

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In some countries, people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is this a negative or positive development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary . Do the advantages outweigh the disavantages?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

Now a days, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?