In some countries, people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is this a negative or positive development?

#countries #people #hours #work #happen #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent years, there has been a growing recognition of the popularity of working for long hours. From my standpoint, I gravitate toward those who believe that it is a negative tendency.

This

Linking Words

essay will expound upon

this

Linking Words

by providing reasons why it happens and practical examples.

Firstly

Linking Words

, there are tons of elements that cause

this

Linking Words

issue.

It is clear that

Linking Words

personal demands are

Correct your spelling

show examples

decisive importance. Specifically, most people have their own fees

such

Linking Words

as cost of living, and it costs a large amount of money, meaning that it creates a motivation for them to work harder so that they can earn a fortune to afford things more easily.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is possible that workers can live more comfortably.

For instance

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

recent data which was reported by news gave the information about shopping, it was incredible that most Vietnamese people spend over 60% of their income to follow their passion

such

Linking Words

as buying new cameras for satisfaction.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it should be noted that

this

Linking Words

problem is detrimental to workers. It is

due to

Linking Words

the fact that mental health is compromised by working for long hours, since they may be under the pressure of a hectic schedule without relaxing or reducing stress.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it paves the way for ease of being autistic. In the case of citizens living in Singapore which has the highest salary per person witnessed the highest proportion of suicide in 2018 because of work overload

along with

Linking Words

the expensive renting accommodations. In conclusion, I lean toward individuals believing it is a harmful trend. One of the reasons why they go

for working

Change preposition

to work

show examples

for a long time is to earn money to live more comfortably.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, it brings numerous drawbacks to workers

such

Linking Words

as having the ability to be autistic or anti-social came from long-time suffering pressure.

Sat Jun 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay generally addresses the task prompt effectively by discussing reasons for long working hours and establishing it as a negative development. However, you could strengthen your arguments by providing more substantial and varied examples and clearer explanations of your main points.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow of your ideas by using more varied transitional phrases and improving the organization of your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea.

task achievement

Your introduction effectively sets up your argument and provides a clear stance on the issue, which is valuable for guiding the reader.

coherence cohesion

The essay concludes with a succinct summary of your arguments, reinforcing your viewpoint effectively.

task achievement

You use relevant specific examples, such as the spending habits of Vietnamese people and the situation in Singapore, which help illustrate your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

prevalent
economic pressures
financial stability
competitive job markets
corporate cultures
stigma
demonstrate dedication
advent of technology
blurred the lines
accelerated career progression
dedicated employee
significant negative implications
stress levels
mental health
physical health
social and family time
productivity
burnout
flexible working hours
work-life balance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In some countries, many households have adopted solar electricity to meet their domestic energy needs. why does it happen ? Is it a positive or negative development?
Solar power has emerged as a primary source to meet energy needs in the domestic sector in some parts of the world. There is one main factor responsible for this change and in my opinion this shift towards solar power is beneficial both for individuals and the environment.
5
band
Some people think that the pandemic has impacted our lives, especially in the education sector. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, characterized by rapid technological advancement and a culture of consumerism, the issue of resource depletion and its impact on our planet has become a pressing concern. The statement that governments should discourage consumption of non-durable goods and promote the production and usage of durable products is a crucial step towards ensuring a sustainable future. While there may be valid concerns about the economic implications of such a policy, the overwhelming environmental and societal benefits necessitate a shift towards mindful consumption practices.
5.5
band
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment which you use for your job write a letter to the shop or company with supplied equipment in your letter describe the problem with equipment explain how this problem is affecting you say what you want the shop or company to do
Hope this letter finds you in good health. Last week, I ordered a keyboard for my personal computer from "modern click" but it malfunctions frequently during my work. Some letters are not responding when I am typing as well as power issue is also present as a result, I frequently had to plug and unplug the computer switch causing disruption in my performance.
6
band
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
It seems that in some nations there is a dramatic rise in individuals` average weight yet a decline in their levels of health and fitness. I aim to identify the sources of this issue as well as some viable solutions to it.
4.5
band
In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?
As far as I am concerned, it is prohibited in companies to deny job applications due to applicants' ages. I totally agree with this statement, as with choosing age discrimination, companies lose enhancing workforce diversity and employees with a wide range of capabilities and experience.

In some countries, people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is this a negative or positive development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, many households have adopted solar electricity to meet their domestic energy needs. why does it happen ? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the pandemic has impacted our lives, especially in the education sector. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment which you use for your job write a letter to the shop or company with supplied equipment in your letter describe the problem with equipment explain how this problem is affecting you say what you want the shop or company to do

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?