Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV or reading about them in the newspapers. What is the reason for this? Is it a good idea to copy famous personalities?
These days many
people
tend to copy
celebrities
Change noun form
celebrities'
celebrity's
personalities
by searching for them and watching them on TV.
In this
essay, I am going to talk about the reasons why and whether it is a good idea to copy
their personalities
.
First of all, there are plenty of reasons why people
are copying the
celebrities these days Correct article usage
apply
especially
the young ones, now we have so many platforms where these famous Add the comma(s)
, especially
people
share their lives, foods, lifestyles
and on top of that the PR packages they receive on a daily basis. Meanwhile, Teenager and even elder Correct word choice
and lifestyles
people
have their phones in their hands and they are scrolling through Netflix, TV or reading the newspaper, watching them having their lives together and how they are treated for being famous. So we, the ordinary people
seeing them, somehow we
get jealous and ask ourselves if we Correct pronoun usage
apply
copy
their personalities
and whether we will be famous or not maybe. Some people
copy
their personalities
to test if other people
will treat them differently. In addition
to that, they see the influencers getting those expensive cars and
Correct word choice
apply
these
luxury bags and other stuff that ordinary Correct determiner usage
apply
people
could not have. In my opinion, the reason why for this
is jealousy.
Second of all, I do not think it is a good idea to copy
these unordinary people
Change noun form
people's
personalities
, we humans are unique being
individuals.
Unnecessary verb
apply
To sum up
, copying other famous people
is not something we should do just to satisfy ourselves from the outside, no matter how people
treat you differently if you copy
their personalities
, we should be ourselves naturally, it is the most beautiful when people
see you as who you are not to fake it.Submitted by a-l-a-a-11 on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay provides a clear response to the topic, it would benefit from more structure. Try to present your ideas in clear paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a single point.
coherence cohesion
You have a good introduction and conclusion. Make sure your body paragraphs are equally clear. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea of that paragraph.
task achievement
You have some clear ideas, but support them with more specific examples and explanations. This will help strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure each example directly relates to the point you are making. For instance, when talking about jealousy, provide an example of how copying a celebrity out of jealousy has impacted someone's life.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task, which is important for a good score on task response.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion neatly summarizes your main argument, which helps to reinforce your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.