Some people say that because we can now watch films on our phones, there is no reason to go to the cinema. Others say that films should be seen in a cinema in order to be fully enjoyed. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Mobile
phones
play a significant role in
a
Change the word
our
show examples
daily lives. Some
people
opine watching films at
movie
theatres should be a thing of the past as
this
can be achieved using mobile
phones
. Others argue
people
should go see
movies
at cinemas because the feeling is different.
This
essay seeks to discuss both views. My opinion is that there is no reason why individuals should go to a
cinema
when they can equally watch
movies
on their mobile
phones
.
To begin
with, proponents of seeing
movies
at a
cinema
preach socialisation and satisfaction.
This
is because
,
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apply
show examples
other
people
will be present to see the same
movie
at a stated time and can create an avenue to make new friends and expand your social link.
For example
, I met my husband at a
movie
theatre in 2012.
Also
, the role of a
cinema
is to show
movies
,
hence
the volume of a
movie
could be increased to any allowable level with no restrictions as the cinemas pay taxes for occupying that space.
Therefore
, I can see why some
people
believe films can be better enjoyed there.
However
, I am of the view that using mobile
phones
to watch
movies
is an excellent option.
Firstly
, it is convenient.
This
is
due to
the fact that an individual can decide
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
when and where to watch a particular
movie
.
For instance
, My friend Jones was able to access an American
movie
labelled War
room
Capitalize word
Room
show examples
within
15minutes
Correct your spelling
15 minutes
of being told, he watched it during his
breaktime
Correct your spelling
break time
show examples
at work.
In addition
, it is a cheaper option.
Although
an internet source may be required, there will be no need to pay for
cinema
tickets and transportation
fare
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fares
show examples
. All in all these reasons
highlights
Correct subject-verb agreement
highlight
show examples
the versatility of using a mobile phone and the elimination of restrictions to having to go to a
movie
theatre for
this
purpose.
To sum up
, I am of the opinion that
movies
can be easily accessed and watched on mobile
phones
and
this
alternative can be explored by the majority of
people
in society with very few limitations than having to do so at a
cinema
.
Submitted by nmaureen03 on

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task achievement
Expand the introduction to provide a brief overview of both viewpoints before stating your own opinion. This will help frame the essay better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Occasionally, your sentences are a bit complex and could benefit from simplification for clarity. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
task achievement
You provided relevant specific examples, which strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, making your position clear.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs discussing distinct points, helping the reader understand each argument.

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