Some people say that because we can now watch films on our phones, there is no reason to go to the cinema. Others say that films should be seen in a cinema in order to be fully enjoyed. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Mobile
phones
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play a significant role in
a
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our
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daily lives. Some
people
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opine watching films at
movie
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theatres should be a thing of the past as
this
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can be achieved using mobile
phones
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. Others argue
people
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should go see
movies
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at cinemas because the feeling is different.
This
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essay seeks to discuss both views. My opinion is that there is no reason why individuals should go to a
cinema
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when they can equally watch
movies
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on their mobile
phones
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.
To begin
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with, proponents of seeing
movies
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at a
cinema
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preach socialisation and satisfaction.
This
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is because
,
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apply
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other
people
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will be present to see the same
movie
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at a stated time and can create an avenue to make new friends and expand your social link.
For example
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, I met my husband at a
movie
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theatre in 2012.
Also
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, the role of a
cinema
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is to show
movies
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,
hence
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the volume of a
movie
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could be increased to any allowable level with no restrictions as the cinemas pay taxes for occupying that space.
Therefore
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, I can see why some
people
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believe films can be better enjoyed there.
However
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, I am of the view that using mobile
phones
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to watch
movies
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is an excellent option.
Firstly
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, it is convenient.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that an individual can decide
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
when and where to watch a particular
movie
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.
For instance
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, My friend Jones was able to access an American
movie
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labelled War
room
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Room
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within
15minutes
Correct your spelling
15 minutes
of being told, he watched it during his
breaktime
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break time
show examples
at work.
In addition
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, it is a cheaper option.
Although
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an internet source may be required, there will be no need to pay for
cinema
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tickets and transportation
fare
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fares
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. All in all these reasons
highlights
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highlight
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the versatility of using a mobile phone and the elimination of restrictions to having to go to a
movie
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theatre for
this
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purpose.
To sum up
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, I am of the opinion that
movies
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can be easily accessed and watched on mobile
phones
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and
this
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alternative can be explored by the majority of
people
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in society with very few limitations than having to do so at a
cinema
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.

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task achievement
Expand the introduction to provide a brief overview of both viewpoints before stating your own opinion. This will help frame the essay better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Occasionally, your sentences are a bit complex and could benefit from simplification for clarity. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
task achievement
You provided relevant specific examples, which strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, making your position clear.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs discussing distinct points, helping the reader understand each argument.
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