Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve a better balance?
Work
-life balance is an important subject giving
the busy lifestyles of many Replace the word
given
people
nowadays. Undoubtedly, there are problems associated with this
. The main of which are obesity and social vices. However
, tentative solutions
to these are restricted work
time
and establishing gyms at work
. This
essay seeks to look at these problems and solutions
.
To begin
with, the fundamental problem with not achieving a balanced work
and social life is obesity. This
is because people
spend several hours
at work
and end up eating from outside where meals purchased are junk. Also
, most employees sit for long hours
to perform their duties at various workplaces. To elaborate on this
, studies have shown that a greater percentage of people
who work
tirelessly have lots of responsibilities and as such
lead sedentary lifestyles and eat unhealthy meals compared to people
who are jobless. The effect of being overweight is cardiovascular diseases such
as diabetes, stroke and heart attack amongst the workforce. In addition
, breeding social vices is another consequence of an inbalanced
Correct your spelling
unbalanced
imbalanced
work
-life. Family is the main root of a nation and the quest for parents to earn and provide for their children
robs them off
Replace the word
of
time
with family. This
makes children
live life the best way they deem as they lack parental supervision. Reduced parental time
with children
results in most of
Change preposition
apply
such
children
falling prey to violent people
in the community and becoming social vices.
Despite the issues that can arise from lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
work
-life balance, some solutions
are establishing governmental laws to restrict the daily working hours
. This
should apply in all working institutions whether private or public. A publication in the New York Times shows that people
are more productive when the
spend Correct your spelling
they
few
Correct article usage
a few
hours
at work
. This
will allow workers the time
to run other aspects of their lives. Lastly
, employers could install gyms at their workplaces and give allowable time
period
within Fix the agreement mistake
periods
the
working Correct article usage
apply
hours
to encourage employees to exercise. This
will curb the problem of obesity.
To sum up
, not achieving a work - life
balance has problems and Correct your spelling
work-life
solutions
.Submitted by nmaureen03 on
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task achievement
The essay responds well to the prompt by addressing the problems associated with work-life balance and providing potential solutions. However, ensuring more specific and varied examples would further enhance the argument. Consider elaborating on how governmental laws can be practically enforced or how gym installations can be feasibly implemented.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, transitions between ideas can be smoother. For instance, the argument about 'social vices' could be better linked to the preceding point on 'obesity.' Additionally, clarifying the connection between work hours and productivity would add coherence.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers both parts of the prompt: it identifies two main problems and two corresponding solutions. This comprehensive approach ensures that the task response is strong.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This logical arrangement aids readers in understanding the key points being made.
coherence cohesion
The use of studies and publications like 'New York Times' adds credibility to the arguments presented, enhancing the overall coherence and persuasiveness of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.