IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, the government pays unemployed people on a weekly basis. How this would impact people as well as government? Do you agree or disagree with that?

#countries #government #people #basis
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Basic
income
 is a social institute which was insinuated in some advanced countries. Its gist is payments for unemployed
people
 from
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 government. Some
people
 believe that it is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 useful idea and in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 the whole world will be used
this
 one,
while
 others adhere to the contrary opinion. I support
this
 idea and will explain why in
this
 essay.
Fistly
Correct your spelling
First
, we will consider the positive arguments.
Post-industrial
Add an article
The post-industrial
show examples
 economy is very automated
hence
 numbers of workplaces are reduced, especially unqualified labour becomes more useless. Most unemployed
people
 don't have a source of
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
therefore
 if they cannot find a job, they will
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 take loans or commit robberies. In order to provide a comfortable life for every person, we
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 help them.
Secondly
, we will consider
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
show examples
 of
this
 decision. Basic
income
 is an incentive to give up a job for some
people
 inasmuch as their reinforces are more expensive than
difference
Add an article
the difference
show examples
 between the salary and basic
income
thus
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
joblessness will strike
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Moreover
, it is a burden on the country's
burget
Correct your spelling
budget
whereas
this
 money we can spend,
for example
, on
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of business.
Also
, it causes inequality in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
further
Wrong verb form
furthering
show examples
 the strife between working and non-working
people
. Conventional
laborer
Fix the agreement mistake
laborers
show examples
 will be disappointed at
this
 injustice.
Additionally
, one non-obvious problem is migrants from poor countries
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 will come to get basic
income
 and not work. In conclusion, I am a proponent of basic
income
 because it is the most intelligible method to make
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
imminent joblessness more acceptable.
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on

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task achievement
Clarify arguments with more specific examples and reasons. For instance, provide an example of a country where basic income has been successful or cite statistics about unemployment rates in automated economies.
coherence cohesion
Correct minor language mistakes to improve readability, such as 'burget' to 'budget' and 'reinforces' to 'expenses'.
task achievement
The essay presents both pros and cons of basic income effectively, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly present and related to the central argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment benefits
  • financial support
  • basic standard of living
  • essential needs
  • economic stability
  • job seeking
  • government expenditure
  • reallocation of funds
  • dependency culture
  • consumer spending
  • income inequality
  • safety net
  • public resources
  • workforce productivity
  • substantial resources
  • social equity
What to do next:
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