The charts below give information on the ages of people when they got married in one particular country in 1996 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and repairing the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of people when they got married in one particular country in 1996 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and repairing the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates how many people got married in various
age
groups
(16-19, 20-24, 25-29, 30-34, 35-39, and 40-44
years
old)
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
one country for the
period
of twelve
years
from 1996 to 2008.
Overall
,
it is clear that
most of the females got married between 25 and 29
years
old,
while
the
age
level of
males
who preferred to get married increased over the
period
.
According to
the data, there were around 12% of women ranging from 25 to 29
years
old chose to get married in 1996 and 2008, making it the highest rate of married women compared to other
age
groups
during the
period
. Followed by females aged between 30-34
years
old, 20-24
years
old, 35-39
years
old, 40-44
years
old, and the youngest, 16-19
years
old. Interestingly, the pattern of proportion between females remained the same for the twelve-year
period
.
On the other hand
,
males
aged between 25
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
29
years
old
as well as
aged from 30 to 34
years
old shared the same proportion at around 9% in 1996, making both
age
groups
the two highest number of
marriage
Fix the agreement mistake
marriages
show examples
than
males
in the other ages. Twelve
years
later,
however
, most of the
males
tended to get married once they reached 35 to 39
years
old and between 30 and 34
years
old, by approximately 11.5% each. Meanwhile, the proportion of the remaining
age
groups
for men
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
no more than 8% in twelve
years
.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups, years, period, males with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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