Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. Blood sports should be banned. To what extent to you agree or disagree?
Blood
sports
by its name define its meaning which invlove
bloodshed.Correct your spelling
involve
involves
From
the past years,Change preposition
In
human
race Correct article usage
the human
involving
Wrong verb form
has involved
animals
for their
entertainment purposes by hurting Correct pronoun usage
apply
animals
and also
killing animals
.I completely agree with this
notion that Blood
sports
should be banned and also
provide supporting points in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with,the human beings combine bloodshed
with traditional aspects,from the past years,which not only affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
animals
but also
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
hurt
people too.Wrong verb form
hurts
For instance
,there was an article published in spain
which was about Change the capitalization
Spain
blood
sports
and in that article,the publisher also
reveals the death of one woman because of bull fighting
.Correct your spelling
bullfighting
Therefore
,the
humans are responsible for Correct article usage
apply
this
kind of mishappenings.These kind
of entertainment Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
invloves
danger for both humans and Correct your spelling
involves
animals
.
Despite from
Change preposition
apply
this
,the blood
sports
such
as cock fighting and dog fighting both put the lives of innocent animals
in danger.Take,an example,the owners of dog farms mostly provide training and give drugs which blur the vision of dogs as well as
make them arrogant so that they just win the fight against their competitors.Thus
,the people for their ego and for some amount of money,cause harm to pets which results in major injury to dogs and sometimes animals
also
lost
their lives.
Wrong verb form
lose
To conclude
it
,these uncivilized activities not only ruin the lives of Correct pronoun usage
apply
animals
but also
put human's livelihood
in danger so,rather than involving other creatures of Fix the agreement mistake
livelihoods
the
God.It is better to perform Correct article usage
apply
sports
activities such
as football,cricket and other games.At last
,the Government should ban these sports
and also
add fines and punishments for those who are giving rise to these illegal activities.Submitted by arshrandhawa9877 on
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grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar accuracy to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
Consider adding more relevant specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task response
The essay addresses the task comprehensively and provides relevant examples to support the arguments.
response structure
The introduction clearly states the author’s position on the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.