Some people believe that the government should help the unemployed on a weekly basis. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.
With the advancement of technology,no doubt,
the
work productivity Correct article usage
apply
Add a missing verb
has increases
increases
but it Replace the word
increased
also
have
Change the verb form
has
negative
impact on Add an article
a negative
the
employment because of technical gadgets,which are working in place of human labour.I completely disagree with Correct article usage
apply
this
notion and also
include my opinion in conclusion
.
To start with,providing weekly wages to Correct article usage
the conclusion
people
results in lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
self esteem
among Add a hyphen
self-esteem
people
and make
them lazy beings.Take Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
an
example of New Zealand,where Correct article usage
the
government
Correct article usage
the government
paying
weekly wages to Maori Wrong verb form
pays
people
,the native inhabitants of New Zealand,due to
weekly payment,the people
not
even try to find a job Change the verb form
do not
did not
as well as
indulge in bad habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
such
as start
consuming drugs.Verb problem
apply
Thus
,people
lost
their Wrong verb form
lose
will power
and their thinking Correct your spelling
willpower
change
about themselves that they are not able to perform well Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
at
Change preposition
in
workplace
and have no capability.
Correct article usage
the workplace
Furthermore
,it also
have
Change the verb form
has
negative
impact on Add an article
a negative
economy
of the country and other Add an article
the economy
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
also
Add a missing verb
are also
get
affected.To cite an example,the countries where there is a Verb problem
apply
so called
ritual to provide weekly allowances to unemployed Add a hyphen
so-called
people
such
as in New Zealand,also
face financial
crisis and with Correct article usage
a financial
this
,the other working people
pay more taxes which indirectly feeding
unemployed Wrong verb form
feeds
people
through government
.Correct article usage
the government
Therefore
,more
the Correct article usage
the more
government
help unemployed people
,more
the other working Correct article usage
the more
people
pay taxes which affects the economy of the country.
To conclude
it
,no doubt,it is tough for Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
to enjoy their livelihood if they have no job but rather than providing weekly help,government
should provide employment to individuals and open ways of employment so that they can have job security which helps them to live their lives Add an article
the government
according to
their will and without any dependency on others.Submitted by arshrandhawa9877 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay contains the necessary components, but it needs more clarity in structuring paragraphs and ideas. Clearly state your position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This can help streamline your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay can be improved. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. Use more transition words to guide the reader through your argument.
task response
While your points are relevant, they need more elaboration. For instance, the impact on self-esteem and economy could be discussed in more depth, providing more specific examples and evidence where possible.
task response
Work on sentence structure and word choice to make your ideas clearer and more concise. This will help in presenting comprehensive ideas. Avoid run-on sentences and overly complex language.
task response
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the situation in New Zealand. This helps to ground your argument in reality.
task response
Your essay stays on topic and addresses the prompt directly, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which frames the essay well. The conclusion reiterates your stance and summarises your points, providing a clear end to your argument.