Celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement.to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In
this
cutting-edge era, nowadays,celebrities are becoming wave
in Correct article usage
a wave
the
society.Myriad social Correct article usage
apply
medias
discuss their lifestyles Correct your spelling
media
everyday
. Recently, superstars Replace the word
every day
are
Verb problem
have
addressing
Wrong verb form
addressed
in
their beauty and Change preposition
apply
asset
Fix the agreement mistake
assets
than
their attainment.I strongly agree with Rephrase
rather than
this
notion.This
essay will articulate predominant reasons for agreement in forthcoming paragraphs,along with
a relevant conclusion.
To commence with, Celebrities are famousing
globally.Many are discussing their beauty than their achievementsCorrect your spelling
famous
,
because some are very attractive.To epitome,actress Remove the comma
apply
honey
Capitalize word
Honey
rose
familiar Verb problem
became
in between
the Change preposition
among
people
.She has lot
of fans.Most companies invite her Change the article
a lot
for
the inaugurations of their newly launched showrooms.Change preposition
to
Moreover
, socities
talk about their Correct your spelling
societies
vehicles
especially,car
.Fix the agreement mistake
cars
Large
number of Change the article
A large
The large
actor's
are using new cars,which Change noun form
actors
is
not launched in India.Correct subject-verb agreement
are
For instance
, Actor prithviraj
is a Change the capitalization
Prithviraj
well known
person in the world.Always Add a hyphen
well-known
medias
conduct Correct your spelling
media
debate
about their Fix the agreement mistake
debates
vehicles
.Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
prithviraj
is using his Lamborghini for his travel Change the capitalization
Prithviraj
purpose
,which Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
is not arrived
in Change to the active voice
does not arrive
has not arrived
india
.But no one discusses his movies.
Change the capitalization
India
Secondly
,Film stars are initiating new business in other states.That
products are becoming Correct determiner usage
Those
trend
.Add an article
a trend
For example
,actress Nayanthara begins
Wrong verb form
began
new
business in Tamilnadu Correct article usage
a new
that
is sanitary pads.Correct pronoun usage
which
Besides
that, famous people
's flats are trending now. For example
, Nayanthara's new home is famous in
everywhere .The infrastructure of houses Change preposition
apply
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
discussing
Wrong verb form
discussed
in
Change preposition
on
the
social media platforms and they are spending more money Correct article usage
apply
for
construction works.
Change preposition
on
To conclude
, celebrities always
famous Add a missing verb
are always
by
their glamour, Change preposition
for
vehicles
,and flats.They are constructing trending houses for them.Their four-wheelers are trending in the international market.Through the actors, people
identified new vehicles
.Which is comfortable for them.as well as
glamour,and costumes as well discussed by individuals.None of the people
are discussing their movies and success rates.So I strongly opine that ,
I agree with Remove the comma
apply
this
statement because people
focusing beauty
and wealth of Correct article usage
the beauty
the
famous Correct article usage
apply
people
rather than achievements.Submitted by saniyasunny1848 on
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grammar
There are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay. A thorough review and proofreading can help improve clarity and readability. Consider seeking help from grammar-focused IELTS preparation materials or a tutor.
cohesion
Transitions between ideas and paragraphs need improvement. Use cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, in addition, consequently) to create a smoother flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
clarity
Ensure that ideas are clearly expressed. Avoid redundancy and focus on making each point clear and direct. Each paragraph should address a single main idea that supports your argument.
examples
You have included relevant examples to support your points, such as mentioning specific celebrities and their lifestyle choices, which strengthens your argument.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.