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Writing Samples
Band 5

nowadays more and more people use robots at home and work. do you think it is positive or negative?

#people #robots #home #work
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Today task-performing
robots
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 at home or work have
been become
Change to the active voice
become
show examples
 increasingly common among
people
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. I strongly believe that it is a positive development because of their significant influences on science. One of the great fields that
robotic
Replace the word
robotics
show examples
 has entered is science.
Robots
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 are machines
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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guided by a computer.
This
Linking Words
 guiding is often external and done by wireless remote
contols
Correct your spelling
controls
 and operated by
human
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humans
show examples
.
This
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 ability has provided opportunities for
human
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humans
show examples
 to be able to accomplish complex
tasks
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.
For example
Linking Words
, there are difficult areas in our body,
such
Linking Words
 as
Correct article usage
the pelvic
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pelvic
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pelvis
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 and its
tomors
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tumours
donors
, that a surgeon may not be able to easily access to have a successful surgery, robotic surgery can
elliminate
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eliminate
such
Linking Words
 difficulties.
In addition
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, studying
on
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apply
show examples
outer space and
bottom
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the bottom
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 of
seas
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the seas
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in
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apply
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which humans
are not be
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are not
show examples
 able to reach, are other opportunities
that
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apply
show examples
provided by
robots
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.
Time
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limitation
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limitations
show examples
 and the prevention of doing repetitive
tasks
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 are other benefits of employing
robots
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. Nowadays,
people
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 spend
huge
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a huge
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 amount of
time
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 on their work.
As a result
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, they may not have adequate
time
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 to do household
tasks
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. Advances in technology and
robotic
Correct article usage
the robotic
show examples
industy
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industry
 provide
this
Linking Words
 chance for them to avoid
repetetive taks
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repetitive tasks
such
Linking Words
 as
vacum
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vacuum
 cleaning. Robot vacuum cleaners would be able to do
this
Linking Words
 task and save
people
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's
time
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. Even
at
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in
show examples
 industry, there are works that
people
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not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 prefer to do. Mechanical hands which are
robots
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 can assist them by performing heavy and repetitive
works
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work
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, some think that
robots
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 can make mistakes but I think it can be resolved by checking and operating them by
human
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humans
show examples
. In conclusion, I strongly believe that doing some
tasks
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 by
robots
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 at home or work can be a positive development.
Submitted by hg1984 on

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supported main points
Ensure that every main point is thoroughly supported with specific examples and detailed explanations. For instance, while mentioning the advantages of robotic surgery, you could include statistics or real-life examples to strengthen your point.
logical structure
Work on linking your ideas more seamlessly. Use a variety of transition words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Be cautious with spelling and grammar to maintain clarity. For example, 'robotic' should be 'robotics,' 'industy' should be 'industry,' and ‘taks’ should be ‘tasks’. Proofreading can help identify and correct these errors.
complete response
Your essay addresses the task effectively, discussing both the positive impacts of robots at home and work. This demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and summarize your main points well, giving your essay a clear structure.
relevant specific examples
You provided multiple benefits of using robots, such as in the field of science and reducing time spent on repetitive tasks. This illustrates your ability to generate relevant ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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