Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is no doubt that these days people are struggling with stress. So, some advocates think that spending quality
time
alone is the best way to get rid of stress. I agree with the above statement and I will give some reasons along with
some examples.
To begin
with, In my point of view, the main reason of
being depressed is the hectic schedule. In Change preposition
for
this
materialistic world, people are working round the clock in order to earn the
money to manage their Correct article usage
apply
extravagants
. Correct your spelling
extravagances
Hence
, they are unable to get time
for themselves. So, the best way is to spend time
alone by enjoying the creatures of nature. To exemplify, one of my friends was suffering from depression. She got
advised by Verb problem
was
doctor
to spend Add an article
the doctor
a doctor
time
alone by pursuing hobbies. She is recovering soon.
Moreover
, being alone gives us break
from social pressure and expectations from others and one might feel Correct article usage
a break
rejuvenate
Replace the word
rejuvenated
wich
may not be feasible when in the company of others. Correct your spelling
which
For example
, working whole
week Correct article usage
the whole
make
me feel under Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
pressure
of my manager and other Correct article usage
the pressure
co- workers
. Correct your spelling
co-workers
After taking
one day off and spending Change preposition
Taking
alone
at home makes me feelCorrect pronoun usage
it alone
more
fresh second day at work.Correct quantifier usage
apply
Submitted by jassijaspreet153 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively outlines the reasons why spending time alone can reduce stress, but the introduction and conclusion sections need to be more clearly defined to elevate the overall structure. An enhanced introduction that succinctly outlines your main points and a conclusion summarizing your arguments would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical errors and typos such as 'wich' instead of 'which' and 'rejuvenate' should be 'rejuvenated'. Also, avoid generalizations and provide more specific, relevant examples. For example, instead of saying 'working whole week', you might specify a situation like 'working 60 hours a week'.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are fully developed and clear, and try to use a variety of sentence structures to keep your writing engaging. Some of your points could be expanded with more details or examples to make them more comprehensive.
task achievement
You have chosen a clear stance and presented your reasons logically, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
relevant specific examples
Your use of personal examples, such as your friend recovering from depression, adds credibility and a personal touch to your argumentation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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