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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar chart shows ten countries which have the highest production and consumption of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, China was the country which led in the production and consumption of
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, Korea, Rep was in 10th place in the top 10 countries. In the first place, it was China which had 5398
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
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 of manufacture and 5322
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 of utilization.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the United States was the second highest, producing 4099
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
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 and consuming 3866
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in Russia, the number of
electricity
Use synonyms
 which was produced and consumed equalled one-third of that in the United States, which were 1057 and 1038
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
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 respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, the amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
 which was 936,2 ; 871; and 618,9
billion
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kWh
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 were manufactured by Japan, India and Canada. And they which were 856,7; 698,8; 499,9
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 were the utilization of these countries.
Finally
Linking Words
, the number of
electricity
Use synonyms
 which were created and used in France, Brazil, Germany and Korea, Rep did not have big differences, which stay at 561,2 and 462,9; 530,7 and 455,8; 526,6 and 582,5; 485,1 and 449,5
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • disparity
  • significant
  • top ten countries
  • main features
  • compare
  • relevant
  • geographical concentration
  • trends
  • patterns
  • implications
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