Large companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Major many youngsters try to taste and drink them.
companies
often sponsor sports
events to advertise their goods. Many people think that this
advertising has a bad impact on sports
. I partially disagree it
that large Correct pronoun usage
apply
companies
use sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
compitition
to develop their Correct your spelling
competition
products
that
Correct word choice
apply
this
has positive
effect Add an article
a positive
to
Change preposition
on
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
also
has some negative impact on Correct word choice
but also
sports
.
Large companies
advertise their product in sport
tournaments that Change the noun form
sports
has
benefits on Correct subject-verb agreement
have
sport
. Big companies
help to
Change preposition
apply
sport
to develop by prompting. If big Fix the agreement mistake
sports
companies
sponsor to
Change preposition
apply
sport
, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these sports
sport
will develop. Also
all expenses and Add a comma
Also,
Correct article usage
the sportman's
sportman's
salary Correct your spelling
sportsman's
pay
on time. Wrong verb form
are paid
For example
, in European countries
football Add a comma
countries,
very
developed nowadays because big Add a missing verb
is very
companies
advertise their products
by using famous football players
and football matches. Players
use their product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
such
as drink coco cola
, eat lays and use Correct your spelling
Coca-Cola
ipone
and Correct your spelling
iPhone
sumsung
Correct your spelling
Samsung
brends
. After Correct your spelling
brands
that
Add a comma
that,
this
goods are bought faster than others. Developed Change the determiner
these
companies
can give big salary
for promoting and Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these sports
sport
types will develop.
Nevertheless
, promotions have some negative effects on a match because they can distract the people or players
from keeping
attention to the game they play or watch. Verb problem
paying
Moreover
, promoting of
unhealthy goods bad effect Change preposition
apply
to
everyone. Change preposition
on
For example
, players
all
Change preposition
of all
sport
types drink energy drinks Fix the agreement mistake
sports
such
as flash, adrenaline, gorilla
. Correct word choice
and gorilla
This
drinks have Change the determiner
These
much
bad sides for human Change the quantifier
many
healthy
. After advertising Replace the word
health
of
famous Change preposition
apply
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
Add a comma
,
This
Change the determiner
This product
These products
products
can negative impact on sports
.
In conclusion, on the overall
trend , I partially disagree it
. Change preposition
with it
Altough
the many unnecessary Correct your spelling
Although
products
are promoted by sports
events it
Correct pronoun usage
they
also
have much
benefits Change the quantifier
many
the
Change preposition
to the
sport
financially.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a general response to the task and covers both positive and negative impacts, which is good. However, the essay can be further improved by clearly stating your position on the issue in the introduction and maintaining a consistent argument throughout the essay.
task achievement
Try to avoid repetitive phrases like 'promoting' and instead use varied vocabulary to enhance the readability and sophistication of your language. Moreover, avoid spelling errors such as 'compitition' (competition) and 'brends' (brands).
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your arguments. Make sure each paragraph clearly supports one main idea, and use transition words to make the connection between ideas smoother.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction sets a clear context and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant specific examples, which enrich your arguments. The mention of European football and energy drinks are good illustrative points.
task achievement
There is an attempt to present both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced approach to the discussion. This is commendable and reflects critical thinking.