The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph illustrates how many people participated in five different types of activities at a particular social

center

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centre

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located in Melbourne, Australia, during the course of 20 years, commencing from 2000.

Overall

Linking Words

, the trends for the film club and martial arts were relatively stable.

Additionally

Linking Words

, there were significant increases in the numbers of participants for table tennis and musical performances,

whereas

Linking Words

the opposite was true in the case of amateur dramatics. During the whole period, the film club consistently registered the highest participation rate, maintaining around 65

members

Use synonyms

, despite a slight drop to a low of 60 in 2010.

Beside

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Besides

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, the membership

Change preposition

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martial

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

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also

Linking Words

fluctuated but it was not as high as the film club,

between

Correct word choice

with between

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30 and 36 participants throughout. Meanwhile, amateur dramatics was the only activity to witness a downward trend.

Although

Linking Words

it rose minimally from approximately 26 to

peak

Wrong verb form

peaking

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at nearly 30

members

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in the first five years, it

then

Linking Words

underwent a continual decline and became the least popular activity by the end of the period.

In contrast

Linking Words

, table tennis saw a gradual rise in popularity, starting from around 16

members

Use synonyms

and reaching 20

members

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by 2010.

Similarly

Linking Words

, musical performances, which began in 2005, experienced rapid growth, reaching nearly 20 participants after 15 years.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Jul 01 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words members with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

210 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

participation rates
trends
significant increases/decreases
stable numbers
fluctuations
overall participation
comparison
activities
social centre
Melbourne
participants
highlight
report
graph illustrates/demonstrates
20-year period
key features
main features
statistical data
variations

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The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that may cities in the world are now on big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? How government should encourage people to reduce using their cars.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?