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Band 4.5

in some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your oponion about this?

#areas #curfew #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult #oponion
In some regions of
the
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apply
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America,
teenagers
 are not supposed
being
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to be
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 out of their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 at
night
time
 unless they are accompanied
with
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by
show examples
 adults. I will express my points of view about
this
 in
this
assay
Correct your spelling
essay
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. There are many areas in the US urban are not secured at
night
. It might be because
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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drug dealers,
thief
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thieves
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,
kidnapper
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kidnappers
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 or wild animals usually emerge
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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 those areas. Curfew is one of the methods to keep
the
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apply
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children
 away from
the
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apply
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potential dangers.
Parents
 or guardians worry if their
children
 encounter
such
 dangers and would try their best to ask their
children
staying
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to stay
show examples
 at a place
that is
 safe
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
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 after a certain of
time
. Sometimes even adults
also
require
Wrong verb form
required
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 to bring a weapon for self-protection in those areas.
Thus
, it is considered to be more
secured
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secure
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 if the
teenagers
 are going out at
night
 with a known adult
such
 as siblings, teachers or relatives. Most of
time
Add an article
the time
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, the
children
 would obey what their
parents
 told
and
Correct pronoun usage
them and
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 get back
to
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apply
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home before the agreed
time
.
However
, curfew is
sometime
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sometimes
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 too
restrict
Replace the word
restrictive
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 to the youth. The
willing
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willingness
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 of the
teenagers
 is
also
 important whilst the
parents
 or guardians only consider
of
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apply
show examples
safety. Perhaps they prefer to study with classmates in a quiet place
such
 as
library
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a library
the library
show examples
 or have
gathering
Correct article usage
a gathering
show examples
 with friends at
night
.
Although
 they are
under age
Correct your spelling
underage
show examples
, the liberty of the
children
 is
also
 needed to be
concern
Add an article
a concern
show examples
. It is critical that
the
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apply
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teenagers
to
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apply
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stay away from
the
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apply
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strangers and keep
contact
Change preposition
in contact
show examples
 with their
parents
 wherever they are. In conclusion, I believe that
curfew
Correct article usage
a curfew
show examples
 is not necessary if
the
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apply
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teenagers
 have well behaved and gained the trust
from
Change preposition
of
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 their
parents
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
parents
also
 require to learn when to let them go without protection.
Submitted by andy1031227 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the issue of teenager curfews. However, consider strengthening your argument with more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will improve the depth and clarity of your response.
coherence cohesion
There are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'regions of the America', 'supposed being out', 'a certain of time'). Pay attention to grammar and syntax to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the ideas flow more logically and cohesively.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in organizing your ideas effectively.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets up the context for the discussion.
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