IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

in some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your oponion about this?

#areas #curfew #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult #oponion
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some regions of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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America,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are not supposed
being
Change the verb form
to be
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 out of their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 at
night
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 unless they are accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 adults. I will express my points of view about
this
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
assay
Correct your spelling
essay
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. There are many areas in the US urban are not secured at
night
Use synonyms
. It might be because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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drug dealers,
thief
Fix the agreement mistake
thieves
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,
kidnapper
Fix the agreement mistake
kidnappers
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 or wild animals usually emerge
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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 those areas. Curfew is one of the methods to keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
Use synonyms
 away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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potential dangers.
Parents
Use synonyms
 or guardians worry if their
children
Use synonyms
 encounter
such
Linking Words
 dangers and would try their best to ask their
children
Use synonyms
staying
Change the verb form
to stay
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 at a place
that is
Linking Words
 safe
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
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 after a certain of
time
Use synonyms
. Sometimes even adults
also
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require
Wrong verb form
required
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 to bring a weapon for self-protection in those areas.
Thus
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, it is considered to be more
secured
Change the form of the verb
secure
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 if the
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are going out at
night
Use synonyms
 with a known adult
such
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 as siblings, teachers or relatives. Most of
Use synonyms
time
Add an article
the time
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, the
children
Use synonyms
 would obey what their
parents
Use synonyms
 told
and
Correct pronoun usage
them and
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 get back
to
Change preposition
apply
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home before the agreed
time
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.
However
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, curfew is
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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 too
restrict
Replace the word
restrictive
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 to the youth. The
willing
Replace the word
willingness
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 of the
teenagers
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 is
also
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 important whilst the
parents
Use synonyms
 or guardians only consider
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
safety. Perhaps they prefer to study with classmates in a quiet place
such
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 as
library
Add an article
a library
the library
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 or have
gathering
Correct article usage
a gathering
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 with friends at
night
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.
Although
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 they are
under age
Correct your spelling
underage
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, the liberty of the
children
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 needed to be
concern
Add an article
a concern
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. It is critical that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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stay away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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strangers and keep
contact
Change preposition
in contact
show examples
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
 wherever they are. In conclusion, I believe that
curfew
Correct article usage
a curfew
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 is not necessary if
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers
Use synonyms
 have well behaved and gained the trust
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
parents
Use synonyms
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
parents
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 require to learn when to let them go without protection.
Submitted by andy1031227 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the issue of teenager curfews. However, consider strengthening your argument with more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will improve the depth and clarity of your response.
coherence cohesion
There are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'regions of the America', 'supposed being out', 'a certain of time'). Pay attention to grammar and syntax to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the ideas flow more logically and cohesively.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in organizing your ideas effectively.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets up the context for the discussion.
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