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Band 4.5

in some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your oponion about this?

#areas #curfew #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult #oponion
In some regions of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America,
teenagers
 are not supposed
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 out of their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 at
night
time
 unless they are accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 adults. I will express my points of view about
this
 in
this
assay
Correct your spelling
essay
show examples
. There are many areas in the US urban are not secured at
night
. It might be because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drug dealers,
thief
Fix the agreement mistake
thieves
show examples
,
kidnapper
Fix the agreement mistake
kidnappers
show examples
 or wild animals usually emerge
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
 those areas. Curfew is one of the methods to keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
potential dangers.
Parents
 or guardians worry if their
children
 encounter
such
 dangers and would try their best to ask their
children
staying
Change the verb form
to stay
show examples
 at a place
that is
 safe
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
 after a certain of
time
. Sometimes even adults
also
require
Wrong verb form
required
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 to bring a weapon for self-protection in those areas.
Thus
, it is considered to be more
secured
Change the form of the verb
secure
show examples
 if the
teenagers
 are going out at
night
 with a known adult
such
 as siblings, teachers or relatives. Most of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
, the
children
 would obey what their
parents
 told
and
Correct pronoun usage
them and
show examples
 get back
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home before the agreed
time
.
However
, curfew is
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 too
restrict
Replace the word
restrictive
show examples
 to the youth. The
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
 of the
teenagers
 is
also
 important whilst the
parents
 or guardians only consider
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
safety. Perhaps they prefer to study with classmates in a quiet place
such
 as
library
Add an article
a library
the library
show examples
 or have
gathering
Correct article usage
a gathering
show examples
 with friends at
night
.
Although
 they are
under age
Correct your spelling
underage
show examples
, the liberty of the
children
 is
also
 needed to be
concern
Add an article
a concern
show examples
. It is critical that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
stay away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strangers and keep
contact
Change preposition
in contact
show examples
 with their
parents
 wherever they are. In conclusion, I believe that
curfew
Correct article usage
a curfew
show examples
 is not necessary if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
 have well behaved and gained the trust
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
parents
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
parents
also
 require to learn when to let them go without protection.
Submitted by andy1031227 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the issue of teenager curfews. However, consider strengthening your argument with more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will improve the depth and clarity of your response.
coherence cohesion
There are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'regions of the America', 'supposed being out', 'a certain of time'). Pay attention to grammar and syntax to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the ideas flow more logically and cohesively.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in organizing your ideas effectively.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets up the context for the discussion.

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