Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children.

In recent days,

Children

have spent a longer time watching television than before. There are some advantages and disadvantages of watching television a lot. First of all, the advantage of watching

for a long time is that

children

can learn many new words that they do not know from the

shows which will be helpful when they study

also

when they watch

they can understand the way that they speak and

children

can learn many new things

such

techniques by watching many kinds of the show and when they watch anime from the

, they can talk with their friends a lot about anime so that they will be more fun and happy. Second , the disadvantage of watching

for a long time is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when kids are watching the screen for a long hour it makes their eyes and watching

for a long hour means they are watching

even though they have friends to play with and they will lose friends when they are not playing or talk with them. Watching

makes

children

not sleep. Watching

makes

children

not sleep, which means that it is bad for their health and it will affect their grades in school when kids watch

makes

children

's physical activity too low and they will be weaker when they are not doing sports or playing outside.

To sum up

there are some advantages and disadvantages of watching

for long hours. In conclusion, in my opinion, watching

for long hours when they are tired is bad.

Submitted by dokmally2 on Mon Jul 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Use linking phrases and words to connect ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed. Strengthen them by providing a clearer context in the introduction and a more detailed summary in the conclusion.

task achievement

Enhance your support for main points by providing more specific examples and elaborating on how they relate to the topic. This will make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Clarify your ideas to avoid repetition and ensure that each sentence adds new information. Try to avoid repeating the same points within the same paragraph.

task achievement

You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view as required by the task.

task achievement

Your ideas are relevant to the topic, which shows a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

educational programs
diverse cultures
entertainment options
language skills
critical thinking
social awareness
shared experience
sedentary lifestyle
inappropriate content
academic performance
attention problems
social skills
commercial influence
addiction

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Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life city dwellers be maintain?

"In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common." Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people think children should learn to paint and draw at school. Others believe it is just a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.