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Writing Samples
Band 3

Every year large number of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and society as a whole.

#year #people #country #migration #society
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Nowadays we are observing dozens of
people
 migrating from one nation to another having
a
Correct article usage
apply
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positive effects but
also
 drawbacks for both individuals and
on
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society. To start with, having a lot of migrants can have some benefits given more
people
 equals
to
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more
resource
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resources
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.
People
 who change their countries tend to become
an
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example
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 in new environments, which results in them having a better impact on society.
Therefore
, it is a win-win situation for both countries and
people
. Say, I had a friend who moved to Germany and now working twice as hard.
Nevertheless
, there can be some concerns. Some
people
 leave their country because they cannot become
a
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apply
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good individual for their society,
this
 concludes in their
behavior
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behaviour
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 being unchanged, or even worse in some cases. It is
due to
 the fact that by and large
people
 do not change for
better
Add an article
the better
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 good.
Thus
, in the new
environment
Add a comma
environment,
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 they act in a bad fashion, turn into criminals and so on. A case in point, I read
on
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in
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 a magazine a few days ago about Pakistani migrants moving to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 and committing crimes, it turned out they were criminals before. In conclusion, even though there are
utmost
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many
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people
 who migrate
due to
 lack of employment, to
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 in better life quality cannot perceive their dreams as disadvantages outcomes the advantages.
However
, the improving systems aid those
people
 who will do better.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more logical structure for your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion to provide a better framework for your essay. Make sure they clearly outline the main points you will discuss and provide a summary of your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. This will help to make your arguments more convincing and illustrate your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to tackle both the advantages and disadvantages of migration, showing a balanced perspective.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have a clear understanding of the topic and its implications for both individuals and society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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