some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is often argued that young learners should be
awarded
for better performances in their academic curriculum. Verb problem
rewarded
However
, others believe that there should be prizes
for students
who show improvement. In my opinion, I believe that the latter view is more significant than the former.
To begin
with, achieving higher grades in academic studies should be awarded with prizes
to students
who perform well. This
is because they are the most clever and hard-working students
who achieve this
milestone by going to sleepless nights and days. Not only do these prizes
and awards tribute to them but also
instill
in them a desire to work even better in future Change the spelling
instil
endeavors
. Change the spelling
endeavours
As a result
, this
benefits the country's economy. Additionally
, students
with a
better academic Correct article usage
apply
result
, Fix the agreement mistake
results
for instance
, are also
given the opportunity to graduate from top colleges and universities, which will boost their morale and desire to work harder in the coming days ahead.
On the other hand
, others, myself included, believe that minority students
who show potential improvement should not be neglected. A key point to notice is that these learners try their best to improve their academic curricula and should be given credit for their hard work. Since individual brains differ from human to human when learning, school authorities must give them utmost attention, and they should not be looked upon as inferior in a group of elite achievers. For example
, they will not have any opportunity for progress and will be labeled
as cut-off Change the spelling
labelled
students
if teachers do not care about them or their lack of
enthusiasm Change preposition
apply
in
studying.
Change preposition
for
To conclude
, although
institutions provide prizes
and trophies to students
who show excellent grades, I believe that students
with less privilege also
need faculty attention if they divert attention from higher achievers.Submitted by abdulahad08600 on
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task achievement
You provided a clear response to the task, addressing both views and giving your own opinion. However, adding more specific examples or evidence could strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific types of rewards or specific ways progress can be recognized, which can make your points more concrete.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, try to improve the logical flow between your ideas. For example, include transition phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' or 'Consequently' between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader more smoothly through your arguments.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the essay's topic and gives an opinion, setting the stage for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates your opinion, providing a cohesive end to the essay.