IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

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Each year majority of people migrate to other
countries
Use synonyms
 for various reasons.
This
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 growing tendency has several privileges
as well as
Linking Words
 negative sides, both of which will be discussed in
this
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 essay. Looking at the positives, one major advantage of migration for individuals is higher income opportunities. Migrants may move to
countries
Use synonyms
 with better job opportunities, higher
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, good job conditions and so on.
For example
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, In European
Use synonyms
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 average wage is higher than in Asia
countries
Use synonyms
. As regards society, individuals from other regions bring cultural diversity.
Such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
 new ideas, cuisine or new approaches to problems and so on.
Moreover
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,
this
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 process can solve problems related to demographic balance. Some governments which are faced with low birth rates try to attract more people from other
countries
Use synonyms
 by offering safe
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 conditions or high incomes. One of the main disadvantages for one member of the public is
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
separation from family. It is not a secret that long periods of separation from loved ones can cause emotional distress and demotivation feelings for some people.
Furthermore
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, they may face loneliness and social isolation. Because language barriers can limit their ability to communicate with others. In respect of the whole society, there are several negative impacts,
such
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 as security concerns. Pupils should be wary of criminal situations.
For instance
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,
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 and terrorism rate in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
Add a missing verb
has increase
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increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 because of
migrant
Fix the agreement mistake
migrants
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 from
Mexica
Correct your spelling
Mexico
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 and other Latina regions.
This
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 data generally shows little evidence to support
such
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 claims. In conclusion, it can be seen that migration has several ups and downs, which are
high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
 opportunities and new ideas.
Also
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, there is a negative side, like emotional distress
due to
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 separate living from family and security concerns.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main topic and thoroughly explores the point being discussed.
task achievement
While you mentioned both the advantages and disadvantages, you should aim to elaborate further on each point for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Try organizing ideas with more explicit connectors and transitions to enhance logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Some arguments could be better supported with evidence or more detailed explanation.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully included an introduction and a well-rounded conclusion, summarizing the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of migration effectively.
task achievement
The inclusion of cultural diversity as an advantage and emotional distress as a disadvantage were insightful points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Migrate
  • Immigrant
  • Emigrant
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Expatriate
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Naturalization
  • Work permit
  • Visa
  • Residence
  • Citizenship
  • Deportation
  • Brain drain
  • Demographic
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural shock
  • Social network
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