IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK from 2000 to 2008 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK from 2000 to 2008 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#information #migration #uk #features #comparisons
The line chart indicates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the amount of time that immigrants
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 8
years
,
while
 the pie chart shows the reasons for
migration
 to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in 2008.
It is clear that
 in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 two
years
, most people settled in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 for 4
yeras
Correct your spelling
years
, but after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
staied
Correct your spelling
stained
stayed
 for 2
yers
Correct your spelling
years
show examples
 or more.
Moreover
, the biggest reason for
migration
Add an article
the migration
show examples
 of the population to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was work in 2008. It could be seen that the number of people who
choosed th
Correct your spelling
chose the
UK
 for maintaining for 2
years
 after
migration
Add an article
the migration
show examples
 was the same all over the 8
years
,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 150 population,
while
, the public who were living for 4
years
 started from 150 numbers and rose to 250 in 2004,
then
 remain the same all over the period. The number nation who lived in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 between 2 to 4
years
 increased by fluctuation and
reched
Correct your spelling
reached
 100 in 2008. Meanwhile, in 2008, the majority of the society
choosed
Correct your spelling
chose
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 as the
distination
Correct your spelling
destination
 for
migration
 because of work and study
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
38% and 32% respectively. 16 per cent of these people just went for
acompany
Correct your spelling
a company
 and join their family in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Also
, the proportion
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 who had no
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
 and had
othe
Correct your spelling
other
 reasons
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the same, by 7%.
Submitted by tina83at on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, years, migration with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: