IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some claim that studying abroad has great benefits for a student’s home country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

It is argued that students who
study
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 overseas can be very beneficial
for
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to
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 their
home
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 nations.
This
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 essay strongly agrees with that statement because they could bring some
knowledge
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 back
home
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 to develop their country, and they could
use
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 their second language to work for multinational
companies
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 in their
home
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countries
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. The main reason why many students choose to
study
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 abroad is to improve their
skills
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 and gain
knowledge
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 from developed
countries
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, and after graduation, they can
use
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 those
skills
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 and
knowledge
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 to improve their hometowns.
For example
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, CK in Thailand who studied and graduated
form
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from
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, uses what he has learnt from there to establish
freelancing
Correct article usage
a freelancing
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 platform named Fastwork which, in turn, helps many people in Thailand to earn money using their
skills
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. Another reason is that people who
study
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 overseas would be able to
use
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 other languages, which are not their
home
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 language. Because of
this
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, they can apply for many jobs in big international
companies
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 to get higher salaries, and
this
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 could help the country boost the economy as well.
For instance
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, many high-tech
companies
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such
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 as IBM, Apple, Nokia and so on, are currently hiring people who can speak English or Chinese with a very high salary being offered. In conclusion,
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home
Correct article usage
the home
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countries
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 of students who
study
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 abroad could get benefits in some ways, and I,
therefore
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, agree with
this
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 because they always bring back
knowledge
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 and
skills
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 to enhance their hometowns, and they could
also
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use
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 foreign languages they have learnt overseas to get well-paid jobs in multinational
companies
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, which are located in their
countries
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider providing a stronger introduction that outlines the main points you'll discuss in the body of your essay. This will give your reader a clear roadmap of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the clarity and interest of your writing. For example, instead of always starting sentences with 'because' or similar phrases, try restructuring some of your sentences.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, they would benefit from clearer connections to your main argument. Elucidate how each example specifically supports the benefits to the home country.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes your argument easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples that reflect real-world scenarios, which strengthens your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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