IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one coutry spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The chart below gives information about how families in one coutry spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#information #families #coutry #income #summaries #features
The bar charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 key information about how families spent
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 weekly income in one country between 1968 to 2018. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
, it is clear from the graph that food
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the highest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
over
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all the categories.
In addition
,
1968
Change preposition
in 1968
show examples
 there was some of the categories
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 high ,
whereas
 in 2018, the same groups were less than
1968
Change preposition
in 1968
show examples
.
According to
 what is shown, in 1968 housing was at 10%
while
 fuel and power
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 nearly at 6% which is the difference between them is approximately 4%.
Clothing
Change preposition
In clothing
show examples
 and footwear, in 1968 it was at 10%
whereas
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
 2018, it declined to 5% . Household
it
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
remained stable
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 8% in both years. In terms of 1968 , personal goods and leisure are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slightly higher than transport but,
on the other hand
 in 2018, personal goods
is
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest percentage .Transport is around 14% , and leisure is at nearly 22%
Submitted by alaa5942005 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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