The past most working people had a only one job I when I would is more and more people are having more than one's up at the same time what is the reason for this development or other advantages and disadvantage of having multiple choice
The pattern of employment has changed dramatically compared to its past, mental health of the employees, which is very difficult to get it back.
where
Correct word choice
when
individual
used to be employed only in one Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
job
, however
people are holding multiple Add the comma(s)
however,
job
presently which can be Change to a plural noun
jobs
due to
development in technology, have helped citizens to become economically stable in
contrary it can ruin personal life and depression as Change preposition
apply
individual
is exposed to multiple commitment.
Add an article
an individual
the individual
To begin
with
the development of technology has provided employees to be engaged in multiple Add a comma
with,
job
at Change to a plural noun
jobs
same
time which can be positive because it provides economic stability in today's expensive world making Add an article
the same
two company
employment possible at the same time where they are not needed to Add a hyphen
two-company
be
physically present in the office in which their Unnecessary verb
apply
dyuty
is to reply the mail and prepare the model necessary for the team Correct your spelling
duty
towarfs
full Correct your spelling
towards
fillment
of the project.
Correct your spelling
filament
In
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
being involve
in multiple Change the verb form
being involved
job
can be economically Worthy but can have Change to a plural noun
jobs
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
effect
on physical and mental health in Fix the agreement mistake
effects
a
long term, as they are exposed to Correct article usage
the
the
stress both physical and Correct article usage
apply
mentally
, for Change the word
mental
employes
involved in multiple Correct your spelling
employees
job
can't have Change to a plural noun
jobs
family
life Correct article usage
a family
aa
they are involved in Correct your spelling
as
dyuty
most of the time can ruin family and personal life and Correct your spelling
duty
also
Add an article
the
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on
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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that your thesis statement addresses both aspects of the task: the reasons behind the trend and the advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully with relevant examples and explanations. For instance, mention specific technological advancements that allow people to work multiple jobs, such as telecommuting or gig economy platforms.
coherence cohesion
Your essay will benefit from a clearer logical structure. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that logically follows the one before it, leading to a coherent overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to make the essay flow more smoothly. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on the conclusion to ensure it effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and gives a sense of closure.
task achievement
Your introduction provides a general understanding of how employment patterns have changed, which is a good start.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the reasons for the trend and its potential effects, which is crucial for task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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