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Band 1

Directors of organzations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary, while ther think it is unfair. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#directors #organzations #salaries #workers #think
high posted
Correct your spelling
High-posted
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individuals
 in firms get higher payout
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to other workers. Few argue that it is necessary,
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 believe that it is not fair. People who get higher salaries
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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because of their skills and experience they have, whilst, it unfair for reason,
this
Change the determiner
these
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 people get millions of dollars for doing nothing at
organizatios
Correct your spelling
organisations
. People who receive higher salaries are highly
skill
Replace the word
skilled
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full
Correct word choice
apply
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individuals
,
also
this
Change the determiner
these
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individuals
 have come from normal workers position to
this
 position
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
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 the time.
For instance
,
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
individuals
 have nerve and future planning for
organization
Add an article
the organization
an organization
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.
For example
,
sundar
Change the capitalization
Sundar
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 pichai,
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 CEO of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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google, was
also
normal
Correct article usage
a normal
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 worker back in his days, but
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
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 he made it
through
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the top post of
firm
Add an article
the firm
a firm
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 his skills.
Submitted by prajapativishal9328 on

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introduction conclusion
Make sure to add an introduction that clearly states both sides of the argument and your own opinion. Include a conclusion to summarize your points.
logical structure
Work on logically structuring your points, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea, and providing sufficient supporting details for each argument.
relevant specific examples
Continue expanding on both views and provide more specific examples. This will help make your argument more convincing and balanced.
clear comprehensive ideas
You've identified both perspectives on the issue, indicating an understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
Including a real-world example like Sundar Pichai adds credibility to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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