IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

#schools #school #uniforms #appearance #pupils #dress #code #children #uniform
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,It is becoming more and more popular for
schools
Use synonyms
 to give
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
special
uniforms
Use synonyms
 to the
students
Use synonyms
.As a matter of fact,the majority of
schools
Use synonyms
 may provide
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
appropriate
clothes
Use synonyms
 for their pupils.
However
Linking Words
,some
students
Use synonyms
 might not be forced to put on
uniforms
Use synonyms
 in some other
schools
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 there are a lot of advantages and disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 putting on
uniforms
Use synonyms
 for
students
Use synonyms
 in
schools
Use synonyms
.In
this
Linking Words
 essay,I will look at some benefits and drawbacks of using the same
clothes
Use synonyms
 for pupils. Let's begin by looking at some pros of strict rules for wearing
uniforms
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.Generally speaking,If the
students
Use synonyms
 dress
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 same tidy
uniforms
Use synonyms
,they will learn how to keep it clean and wash it themselves.It is believed that using
uniforms
Use synonyms
 might be a sort of education for
students
Use synonyms
 to know about the importance of
school
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
 at lower ages.Another benefit of wearing
clothes
Use synonyms
 is that they seem to be
students
Use synonyms
 from a known
school
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.In fact,not only may the pupils look glamorous and clean,but
also
Linking Words
 the community may dedicate them to other people. Turning to the other side of the argument,dressing
Use synonyms
uniforms
Change preposition
in uniforms
show examples
 has several cons.
For instance
Linking Words
,every child may not prefer to wear the
clothes
Use synonyms
 which are supplied for them.Clearly,in an enormous
school
Use synonyms
 with many
students
Use synonyms
,there are a lot of different tacts.
Moreover
Linking Words
,some of the poor families would not be able to purchase a uniform for their children.Based on
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research,more than 20 per cent of people can not buy
school
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
 because of their cost.
To conclude
Linking Words
,Despite the fact that,wearing
uniforms
Use synonyms
 may be practical for individual education and being clean and similar in the
schools
Use synonyms
,It
also
Linking Words
 might have negative points for different
interested
Replace the word
interests
show examples
 and financial situations.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General
Make sure to proofread your work for punctuation and spacing issues. For example, 'Nowadays,It is' should be 'Nowadays, it is'.
Task Response
To improve your task response score, ensure you address all aspects of the question thoroughly. While you mentioned pros and cons, you could make your argument more comprehensive by providing additional relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on logical structure and transitions between points. The essay should flow smoothly from one point to the next. Use cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'However', 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', etc. more effectively.
Task Response
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced approach to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, providing a clear frame for the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are supported with explanations, adding depth to the essay's arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • bullying
  • socio-economic differences
  • school spirit
  • unity
  • discipline
  • belonging
  • self-expression
  • individuality
  • personal development
  • fashion-related distractions
  • academic performance
  • morning routine
  • comfort
  • financial burden
  • cultural differences
  • diverse backgrounds
What to do next:
Look at other essays: