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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children

#children #television #activity #levels #case #measures
It is universally acknowledged that technology
dominants
Replace the word
dominates
show examples
diverse aspects of life . In terms of educating the youth, emerging television, as an entertainment object, causes a tendency towards having sedentary lifestyles among juveniles .
This
 essay will express the reasons for
this
 awful phenomenon and
also
 propose practical solutions to prevent it. The reasons for
this
 negative trend could be assessed in two aspects, technology’s appeals and
role
Correct article usage
the role
show examples
 of parents. The youth are categorized
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 Z generation types.
This
 generation prioritizes technologically advanced facilities in comparison with traditional ones.
Especially
Rephrase
In particular
show examples
,
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
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 by entertaining channels appeal to youngsters more and foster their fantasy world. On the other side, the rate of crime,
such
 as kidnapping, has risen with the growth of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
, so parents encourage their children to stay at home, in order to
preserve
Verb problem
protect
show examples
 them from kidnappers and
also
 push them to spend
time
 on
TVs
Fix the agreement mistake
TV
show examples
.
However
, implementing the following solutions could assist
to cope
Change preposition
in coping
show examples
 with these harmful preferences. The first solution would be establishing physical habits in the family. Organizing various physical
active
Replace the word
activity
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 plans,
such
 as camping, school
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
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 and team
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 by
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 family, would be helpful to divert their
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
 from TVs. On
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
top of that limiting TV
time
 by caregivers could be feasible, too.
For example
, babysitters consider 1 hour per day for minors to spend
time
 on it.
In addition
, in order to relieve parents’ worries about free play, authorities can provide special
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
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 surveillance cameras and babysitters would be able to look
their
Change preposition
at their
show examples
 offspring. In conclusion, it is believed that offspring’s spent
time
 is more crucial than the adults, so there is more sensitivity
on
Change preposition
to
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 it. Unfortunately, television
incentivize
Change the verb form
incentivizes
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 minors to opt
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
sedentary lifestyle which has a negative effect on them.
Thus
, parents and governments can curb it
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 manipulating
this
 tendency.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work more on connecting ideas between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and depth of ideas presented. Some points could be developed further for better understanding.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task adequately, discussing the reasons for increased television watching among children and suggesting measures to encourage higher levels of activity.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with distinct paragraphs for different points of discussion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • content
  • digital platforms
  • on-demand streaming services
  • babysitting
  • marketing
  • urban environments
  • structured screen time
  • physical activity
  • treasure hunts
  • educational campaigns
  • curriculum
  • after-school sports programs
  • gamification
  • fitness apps
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

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