Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children
It is universally acknowledged that technology
dominants
diverse aspects of life . In terms of educating the youth, emerging television, as an entertainment object, causes a tendency towards having sedentary lifestyles among juveniles . Replace the word
dominates
This
essay will express the reasons for this
awful phenomenon and also
propose practical solutions to prevent it.
The reasons for this
negative trend could be assessed in two aspects, technology’s appeals and role
of parents. The youth are categorized Correct article usage
the role
in
Z generation types. Change preposition
into
This
generation prioritizes technologically advanced facilities in comparison with traditional ones. Especially
, Rephrase
In particular
televisions
by entertaining channels appeal to youngsters more and foster their fantasy world. On the other side, the rate of crime, Fix the agreement mistake
television
such
as kidnapping, has risen with the growth of population
, so parents encourage their children to stay at home, in order to Correct article usage
the population
preserve
them from kidnappers and Verb problem
protect
also
push them to spend time
on TVs
.
Fix the agreement mistake
TV
However
, implementing the following solutions could assist to cope
with these harmful preferences. The first solution would be establishing physical habits in the family. Organizing various physical Change preposition
in coping
active
plans, Replace the word
activity
such
as camping, school trip
and team Fix the agreement mistake
trips
sport
by Fix the agreement mistake
sports
whole
family, would be helpful to divert their Change the article
the whole
attentions
from TVs. On Fix the agreement mistake
attention
the
top of that limiting TV Correct article usage
apply
time
by caregivers could be feasible, too. For example
, babysitters consider 1 hour per day for minors to spend time
on it. In addition
, in order to relieve parents’ worries about free play, authorities can provide special playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
by
surveillance cameras and babysitters would be able to look Change preposition
with
their
offspring.
In conclusion, it is believed that offspring’s spent Change preposition
at their
time
is more crucial than the adults, so there is more sensitivity on
it. Unfortunately, television Change preposition
to
incentivize
minors to optChange the verb form
incentivizes
a
sedentary lifestyle which has a negative effect on them. Change preposition
for a
Thus
, parents and governments can curb it through
manipulating Change preposition
by
this
tendency.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work more on connecting ideas between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and depth of ideas presented. Some points could be developed further for better understanding.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task adequately, discussing the reasons for increased television watching among children and suggesting measures to encourage higher levels of activity.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with distinct paragraphs for different points of discussion.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...